When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.
I eat problems, then shit out success.
Cool story bro. Needs more dragons.
That awkward moment when sluts wear clothes.
If you ever get caught sleeping on the job... slowly raise your head and say, 'In Jesus name, amen'
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
Dear 'K', You should get arrested for killing conversations.
You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.
I'm not single. I'm in a long-standing relationship with fun and freedom.
Fairy tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.
Ironically, Chuck Norris' hidden talent is invisibility.
If I'm weird with you, I'm comfortable with you.
Love me always, love me never, but don't love me sometimes.
A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist.
There's no such thing as good girls gone bad, only bad girls found out.
Never frown, because you never know who's falling in love with your smile.
Chuck Norris will never die of a heart attack because his heart isn't that foolish to attack him.
I put the laughter in manslaughter.
