When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.
When all fails, kamikaze and take everyone with you.
You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
Don't wait for the perfect moment, take the moment and make it perfect.
When staring someone in the eyes, u wait for them to stare back at you.
You're only as good as your last game.
Coughing in front of smokers to make them feel guilty.
Taking forever to pick up a phone call because you're dancing to your ring tone.
Cool story bro. Yeah your mums in the next chapter.
Imagine how different your life would be if you said literally everything that was on your mind.
I have moments of brilliance and hours of stupidity.
When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
I don't believe in miracles. I rely on them.
May the bridges I burn today, light the path tomorrow.
Life is so much funnier when you have a dirty mind.
Unicorns are awesome. I am awesome. Therefore, I am a unicorn.
Those awkward karate chops you give door just incase it shocks you.
Dear Boyfriend, Your wallet was getting fat so I thought I'd take it out for some exercise. Sincerely, your Girlfriend.
