When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.
I will love you until the end. If you feel that I don't love you, this is just the beginning.
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes... That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
Be man enough to accept the consequences, be child enough to do it anyway.
I should've known it wasn't going to work out between my ex-wife and me. After all, I'm a Libra and she's a bitch.
Today I went on thesaurus.com and searched "ninjas". The computer told me "Ninjas cannot be found". Well played, ninjas, well played.
I hate when I'm tired and sleepy, but when I go to bed my body says "Just kidding."
Dear 'K', You should get arrested for killing conversations.
It is true that there is no "I" in team. But there is an "I" in win.
Research shows that 90% of men don't know how to use condom, these people are called DADS.
Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
I have a lot of time on my hands when I'm wearing two watches.
I bet Osama Bin Laden regrets coming out of hiding to watch the Royal Wedding.
Be what you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
Learn to spell, kids. Auto Correct isn't always write.
Everything becomes funnier when you're not allowed to laugh.
Karma's a bitch when you're a bitch.
Cockiness is just confidence without confidence.
