When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.
The word 'studying' was made up of two words originally - 'students dying'.
Boys will break your heart, Real men will pick up the pieces.
Cool story bro, changed my life.
Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
Cockiness is just confidence without confidence.
Relationship status: Thank god there are 2 TVs in this house.
Chuck Norris puts the "fun" in "Funeral".
I couldn't help but notice that awesome ends with 'me' and ugly starts with 'u'.
I have no time for stupid people. But they sure do have time for me.
Life is not what you take of it, but what you make of it.
Winners don't wait for chances, they grab them.
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to, unless you're in prison.
A relationship with NO TRUST is like a car with no gasoline. You can stay in it all you want but it won't go anywhere.
Treat every problem as your dog would: If you can't eat it, fuck it or piss on it, then walk away.
A girl just told me she wants something with a lot of diamonds for her birthday, I'm gettin her a deck of cards!
Chuck Norris once strangled someone with a cordless phone.
Last night I dreamt I was eating a giant marshmallow...when I woke up my pillow was gone.
"**** ***** is now friends with ****** ****** and 64 other people" damn....what a Facebook whore.
