When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.
I study for minutes and take breaks for hours.
Today was a beautiful day. Then you showed up.
S_CCESS can't be complete without U.
When a teacher sends you outside you have successfully won the argument.
When I watch MTV Cribs, the feeling of guilt from illegally downloading songs goes away.
Coughing in front of smokers to make them feel guilty.
Everything becomes funnier when you're not allowed to laugh.
Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
Haters hate because they are what you ain't.
Maturity is knowing when to be immature.
Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
When single you see happy couples. When in a relationship you see happy singles.
If all MEN are the same, why do WOMEN take so long to choose one?
I'm not an Alcoholic. Alcoholics need a drink, I already have one.
Have you ever noticed that when you walk into a spider web you suddenly become a ninja?
I don't have an attitude, I have a personality you can't handle.
Those who criticize our generation forget who raised it.
The awkward moment when you politely decline food at a friends house and immediately regret the decision afterwards.
