When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
I'm not a nerd, I'm just smarter then you.
I'm not an Alcoholic. Alcoholics need a drink, I already have one.
Haters hate because they are what you ain't.
KEEP YOUR HEAD HIGH, and you're middle finger HIGHER.
Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
If a quiz is quizzical, what's a test?
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
I want a person who comes into my life by accident, but stays on purpose.
God made Heaven and Earth, the rest was made in China.
Those who criticize our generation forget who raised it.
There are needs and there are wants. I need what I want.
Science has made us gods even before we are worthy of being men.
Baby, I treat you like my homework, I'll slam you on the table and do you all night long.
The word 'studying' was made up of two words originally - 'students dying'.
I am not good at giving advice, but can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
Born to be different, like everyone else.
Face your problems, don't facebook them.
