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There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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Love needs to get glasses.

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Don't break anybody's heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206.

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Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.

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Women worry about the things that men forget. Men worry about the things that women remember.

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I am not good at giving advice, but can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

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Jesus can walk on water. Ice is 100% water, I can walk on ice. Therefore, I'M 100% JESUS BITCHES.

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I'm not getting drunk. I'm getting awesome.

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You need over 60 muscles to look angry and less then 10 to smile, so why tire yourself?

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Everybody spread positivity.

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If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

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24 hours in a day 24 beers in a case coincidence? I think not.

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I will love you until the end. If you feel that I don't love you, this is just the beginning.

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Perception is everything.

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Don't let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game.

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You'll never know how strong you are, until being strong is the only choice you have.

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When life throws a rock at you, throw back a brick.

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Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.