There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
Act like a gentleman, think like a boss.
When your mum decides to be in the room while you're on the computer so you just switch to Google and just stare at it.
The minute you settle for less than what you deserve you get less than what you settled for.
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
I know the beginning and end of this book but what shapes life are the chapters between.
If they dont chase you when you walk away....keep walking.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
If all MEN are the same, why do WOMEN take so long to choose one?
If Bill Gates had a penny for every time I had to reboot my computer...oh wait, he does.
Make money, don't let it make you.
The awkward moment when the world doesn't end on December 21st 2012, and a lot of girls end up being pregnant.
Alarm Clocks, because every morning should begin with a heart attack.
I love walking in the rain 'cause no one can see me crying.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
The lottery: voluntary taxation.
Got an issue? Get a tissue.
