There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
Cockiness is just confidence without confidence.
Love is calling back regardless of how many times they hangup on you.
Some women can't find a GOOD MAN cause they're too busy looking for a PERFECT MAN.
If life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, then lets get wasted and have the time of our lives.
Never close a door that someone still holds a key to.
Don't break anybody's heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Definition of disappointment: guy runs into a wall with a boner and breaks his nose first...
Cool story bro. You should get it in Oprah's book club.
I'm a very nice person...but for you I'll make an exception.
Don't wait for anybody to complete you.
Mom: What do you think I am, made of money? Daughter: Isn't that what MOM stands for?
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
What you call dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
I don't fail, I succeed in finding what does not work.
Mario: An Italian plumber that was created by Japanese people, who speaks English, but looks like a Mexican.
Boyfriends are like goal keepers. Just because they are there doesn't mean you can't score.
Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.
