There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
If they dont chase you when you walk away....keep walking.
Cool story bro. The best part is when you stopped talking.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
Love always costs more than you can afford, but its always worth the price.
Single doesn't always mean lonely and Relationship doesn't always mean happy.
He broke her heart. She broke his X-Box. I think we all know who cried harder.
The world is full of guys, be a man.
The more pictures you post of your pet the more lonely you are. It's science.
Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything.
When staring someone in the eyes, u wait for them to stare back at you.
Real eyes realize real lies.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
Stubbing your toe and telling the inanimate object to f*ck off.
It isn't till you've lost everything that you are free to do anything.
I hate when I'm tired and sleepy, but when I go to bed my body says "Just kidding."
Charlie Sheen just set record for 'fastest time to reach a million Twitter followers.' Not his only speed record.
Learn to spell, kids. Auto Correct isn't always write.
It's weird not to be weird.
