There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
I always wanted to be someone. I see now that I should have been more specific.
Ohh, that sounds kinda harsh. I better add a 'lol'.
Some women can't find a GOOD MAN cause they're too busy looking for a PERFECT MAN.
Yeah, I'm single, but you're gonna have to be amazing to change that.
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
Chuck Norris once strangled someone with a cordless phone.
Next time someone says "sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me" I'm gonna throw the dictionary at them.
Dear Bull, What did I do to deserve so much shit?
If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
I order the club sandwich all the time, but I'm not even a member, man. I don't know how I get away with it.
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
I study for minutes and take breaks for hours.
Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you weaker and weaker until it eventually kills you.
You can be worthless to someone, but priceless to another.
It's not how much you love someone that matters, it's how much you make them feel loved.
Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
If you watch Cinderella backwards, it's about a woman who learns her place.
There are two kinds of secrets: one is not worth keeping and the other is too good to keep.
