There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
I'm a bitch? You're a bitch. Your mom's a bitch for having a bitch, your dad's a bitch for fucking a bitch. Now who's the bitch, bitch?
If a quiz is quizzical, what's a test?
Single doesn't always mean lonely and Relationship doesn't always mean happy.
You should appreciate what you have, before it becomes what you had.
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
Act like a gentleman, think like a boss.
Relationship status: Thank god there are 2 TVs in this house.
Most people are still alive because its illegal to shoot them.
Last night I dreamt I was eating a giant marshmallow...when I woke up my pillow was gone.
Cool story bro, tell it again and I'll punch you.
If you can't beat them, taze them.
Got an issue? Get a tissue.
If there was only woman ruling the word there would be no wars. Just a bunch of countries jealous of each other.
I'm not an alchoholic, I'm a drunk. Alchoholics go to meetings.
Boys will break your heart, Real men will pick up the pieces.
Love me always, love me never, but don't love me sometimes.
A girl looks at what a man drives. A woman looks at what drives a man.
