There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
Off; the general direction in which I wish you would fuck.
You cannot fathom the amount of fuck I do not give.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Today is the Tomorrow we worried about Yesterday.
I'm not prejudiced, I hate everybody equally.
The word 'studying' was made up of two words originally - 'students dying'.
Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.
Jesus can walk on water. Ice is 100% water, I can walk on ice. Therefore, I'M 100% JESUS BITCHES.
Drunk words are sober thoughts.
Right things happen at the wrong time if you wait for them to happen.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
Lifes a bitch....so when life sucks just sit back and enjoy the head.
Don't break anybody's heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206.
You know it's going to be a great story when its starts off with, "So this b*tch!..."
So you're the bitch that told the bitch that I'm a bitch well listen bitch it takes a bitch to know a bitch, bitch.
Don't fall in love, fall off a bridge, trust me, it hurts less.
I always wanted to be someone. I see now that I should have been more specific.
You inspire me to be a better pervert.
