There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
I love using big words to sound smart. I mean utilizing gargantuan idioms to fabricate intelligence.
Today is the Tomorrow we worried about Yesterday.
The awkward moment when you're on a bouncy castle and you fall down and the other bitches on there wont stop jumping so u can't get back up.
That awkward moment when your pet is staring at you naked...
Everybody spread positivity.
It's weird not to be weird.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of bill payments.
When your mum decides to be in the room while you're on the computer so you just switch to Google and just stare at it.
Science has made us gods even before we are worthy of being men.
It takes more energy to look back than to look forward into the future.
I don't fail, I succeed in finding what does not work.
Why drink and drive when you can smoke and fly.
From a girl's point of view, the guy always chooses the slut. From a boy's point of view, the girl always chooses the jerk.
I have a lot of time on my hands when I'm wearing two watches.
If she talks to you about everyone then she must talk to everyone about you.
History always has a way of repeating itself, bad or good, a perfect circle.
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
Smart girls open their mind, easy girls open their legs, and foolish girls open their heart.
