There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
The sacrifice of hiding in the light is living with your shadows.
A relationship with NO TRUST is like a car with no gasoline. You can stay in it all you want but it won't go anywhere.
My life without you would be like a broken pencil. Pointless.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Those who like me, raise your hand. Those who don't, raise your standards.
Life is so much funnier when you have a dirty mind.
Everyone and everything eventually becomes only just a memory.
Off; the general direction in which I wish you would fuck.
Admit it! At one point in your life you closed the fridge really slowly to see when the light turns off.
Last night I dreamt I was eating a giant marshmallow...when I woke up my pillow was gone.
People are stupid, with random moments of brilliance.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
If you want to look young and thin, hang out around fat old people.
It's not the goodbye that hurts, but the flashbacks that follow.
If you watch Jaws backwards, its about a shark who throws up so many people, they have to open a beach.
I put the laughter in manslaughter.
You can spend your life avoiding your dreams, but everynight you go to sleep.
Women want one man to fulfill their every need. Men want every woman to fulfill their one need.
