There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
Don't like me? Take a seat with the rest of the bitches waiting for me to give a fuck
The world needs less people that judge and more people that love.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
When you're sober you think twice before you speak but when you're drunk you speak twice before you think.
I've gone bankrupt a few times and it's pretty scary. But eventually I make it to the ATM and get more money.
S_CCESS can't be complete without U.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Don't wait for anybody to complete you.
Maturity is knowing when to be immature.
If your not going to win the argument, lie.
Some women can't find a GOOD MAN cause they're too busy looking for a PERFECT MAN.
I swear to drunk I'm not god.
He who laughs last didn't get it.
Just because your smart doesn't mean your wise.
It's not the goodbye that hurts, but the flashbacks that follow.
Have you ever noticed that when you walk into a spider web you suddenly become a ninja?
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
Everybody thinks that a girl's dream is to find the perfect guy. Yeah right, our dream is to EAT WITHOUT GETTING FAT!
