There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
Love is calling back regardless of how many times they hangup on you.
We're all born screaming, naked, and starving...then it's pretty much downhill from there.
I study for minutes and take breaks for hours.
The human heart is like a spring, to bounce back from pitfalls and rise to joys, and it definitely needs space.
Love me always, love me never, but don't love me sometimes.
Know one cares how much you know, unless they know how much you care.
I'm not flirting, I'm just acting extra nice to someone who is extra attractive.
The awkward moment when you realize that people are really laughing at you, not with you.
Laughter is a better way to bring tears to the eyes.
I bet Osama Bin Laden regrets coming out of hiding to watch the Royal Wedding.
Today I went on thesaurus.com and searched "ninjas". The computer told me "Ninjas cannot be found". Well played, ninjas, well played.
So my life has reached the point where I've stopped asking "Why me!?" and started asking "Oh, again?"
The awkward moment when Edward and Santa bump into each other in your room because they're both watching you sleep.
That sad moment when you find an old conversation between you and someone you don't talk to anymore.
The lottery: voluntary taxation.
Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.
Disappointments are just God's way of saying: "I've got something better." Be patient, live life, have faith.
New anti depressant for lesbians... Trycoxagain
