They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
Would you like a table? ... "No, I came to the restaurant to eat on the ground, a carpet for 5 please." -_-
I knew I was in love when all those stupid love songs started to make sense.
Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Ladies, the only time it is okay to be skeleton skinny is when you are dead. So eat the frigging cookie and enjoy it.
We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
You cannot fathom the amount of fuck I do not give.
Life's not a bitch, you're the bitch because your not trying hard enough.
If you can't be a good example then at least be a horrible warning.
F that B.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
Ran into my ex last week... backed up and ran over his ass again.
Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
If we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket...I'd miss u heaps and think of you often.
If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back to visit, hunt it down and kill it.
The awkward moment when teacher cracks a joke and no one laughs.
I'm invisible, can you see me? Yeah? How about tomorrow night?
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
