They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
I'm a very nice person...but for you I'll make an exception.
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
Love always costs more than you can afford, but its always worth the price.
You said what you said and you said what you said, so what you said is what you said.
Bought a CD of ice cream van music. Now I drive with the stereo on full blast, watching the disappointment on all the little kids faces.
The notion that you feel my pain is extremely uncertain. You have to apply the experience and pain of my life in order to come to this road.
Nice guys finish last, that is because they put their girls first.
"Dude that song is old"...."Well so is your mom....but you still listen to her."
The world is full of guys, be a man.
Everyone and everything eventually becomes only just a memory.
Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
If you ever get caught sleeping on the job... slowly raise your head and say, 'In Jesus name, amen'
You need over 60 muscles to look angry and less then 10 to smile, so why tire yourself?
I go to bed late every night and I realize it was bad idea every morning.
Don't trip over bitches, walk over them.
Gravity is not the reason why people fall in love.
Your a boy, I'm a girl. So tell me again why we aren't dating?
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
