Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
The awkward moment when Edward and Santa bump into each other in your room because they're both watching you sleep.
To catch me, you gotta be fast. To find me, you gotta be smart. To be me? Sh*t! You gotta be kidding!
Yeah, I'm single, but you're gonna have to be amazing to change that.
When I'm always in my room; parents complain. When I go out; parents complain.
Take chances, make mistakes, and don't regret a second of life.
Boyfriends are like goal keepers. Just because they are there doesn't mean you can't score.
Those who criticize our generation forget who raised it.
I order the club sandwich all the time, but I'm not even a member, man. I don't know how I get away with it.
Its the scars that can't be seen that take the longest to heal.
I hate when I'm tired and sleepy, but when I go to bed my body says "Just kidding."
I think 'First Response' and 'Plan B' should switch names.
I'll advise you... don't mess with me: I know Karate, Judo, Tai Kwon Do, Jujitsu and 28 other dangerous words.
That awkward moment when sluts wear clothes.
The awkward moment when people are complaining about the sizes of their nose when Voldemort's in the room.
I need a six month holiday, twice a year.
I can only endure saying goodbye because saying hello again will be all the sweeter.
The awkward moment when you're on a bouncy castle and you fall down and the other bitches on there wont stop jumping so u can't get back up.
Just like every president has a teleprompter, every idiot has a cameraman.
