Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
I'll advise you... don't mess with me: I know Karate, Judo, Tai Kwon Do, Jujitsu and 28 other dangerous words.
Disappointments are just God's way of saying: "I've got something better." Be patient, live life, have faith.
The people who know the least about you, always have the most to say.
Make money, don't let it make you.
Life is a bitch, but totally do-able.
Sleep, hugs, kisses, love, friends, family, memories, smiles, laughter, fun... the best things in life are free.
How the hell does Freddy Kruger wipe his ass?
Tip to reduce weight: Turn your head to the left then turn to the right. Repeat this exercise every time you are offered something to eat.
I am not afraid of death, it's just that I prefer not to be there when it happens.
It's not the goodbye that hurts, but the flashbacks that follow.
Winners don't wait for chances, they grab them.
There are needs and there are wants. I need what I want.
Everyone's fine with babies being entertained by keys, but let one baby drive a Porsche and suddenly I'm a horrible uncle.
Never frown, because you never know who's falling in love with your smile.
The world is a fucked up place. You fit right in.
I would love you if love meant the complete opposite of what it means today.
Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
Everyone thinks that: Its every girl's dream to find the perfect guy....in fact its every girl's dream to eat without getting fat.
