Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.
When life throws a rock at you, throw back a brick.
Take chances, make mistakes, and don't regret a second of life.
It's better to be the owner of your silence than the slave of your words.
The awkward moment when somebody asks you what's wrong and they're the problem.
Some people can't sleep because they have insomnia. I can't sleep because I have Internet connection.
Everybody spread positivity.
The people who know the least about you, always have the most to say.
My middle finger gets a boner when I think of you.
Homework: Do me do me. Internet: Don't listen to that slut.
Kim Jong Il's last words. "Hey, you're Chuck Nor....."
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
If someone tries to bring you down it means that you are higher than them.
I hate when I'm tired and sleepy, but when I go to bed my body says "Just kidding."
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?'Hold my purse.'
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
When single you see happy couples. When in a relationship you see happy singles.
If you were a transformer you would be a hot-obot called Optimus Fine.
