Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
A girl just told me she wants something with a lot of diamonds for her birthday, I'm gettin her a deck of cards!
I say excuse me when I burp even when nobody is around....true gentleman.
You know you love her when people think you're crazy.
Physiological fact: emotional pain lasts for twelve minutes, anything else is self inflicted.
Eventually people will realize that mistakes are meant for learning not repeating.
You can't buy love....but you pay heavily for it.
Life sucks. But what it sucks on we may never know.
If we're not supposed to have late night snacks....why is there a light in the fridge?
Karma's a bitch when you're a bitch.
The world is full of guys, be a man.
When you're sober you think twice before you speak but when you're drunk you speak twice before you think.
Don't judge a book by its movie.
You're never too old to learn something stupid.
Your a boy, I'm a girl. So tell me again why we aren't dating?
You look at them. They look at you. You look away. Awkward.
It is true that there is no "I" in team. But there is an "I" in win.
Haters hate because they are what you ain't.
