When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
From a girl's point of view, the guy always chooses the slut. From a boy's point of view, the girl always chooses the jerk.
Haters hate because they are what you ain't.
Boyfriends are like goal keepers. Just because they are there doesn't mean you can't score.
Don't judge a book by its movie.
I say excuse me when I burp even when nobody is around....true gentleman.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Today is the Tomorrow we worried about Yesterday.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
The minute you settle for less than what you deserve you get less than what you settled for.
If you watch Cinderella backwards, it's about a woman who learns her place.
Life is like a penis, when it gets hard, fuck it.
Be what you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
Fight poverty. Throw stones at beggers.
Winners do what other people won't.
Some women can't find a GOOD MAN cause they're too busy looking for a PERFECT MAN.
A man can sweep any woman off her feet, he just needs the right broom.
So my life has reached the point where I've stopped asking "Why me!?" and started asking "Oh, again?"
Procrastination is like masturbation....you're only screwing yourself.
