When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
The awkward moment when someones yelling at you and your desperately trying not to laugh at their angry face.
Each morning when we wake up, we have two choices: go back to sleep and keep dreaming, or wake up and chase those dreams.
Bought a CD of ice cream van music. Now I drive with the stereo on full blast, watching the disappointment on all the little kids faces.
The awkward moment when people are complaining about the sizes of their nose when Voldemort's in the room.
We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
Take it easy, give it hard.
If you find yourself using the expression "haters gonna hate" a lot, there's a better than average chance you're a douchebag.
Don't let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game.
I don't have an attitude, I have a personality you can't handle.
I'm not single. I'm in a long-standing relationship with fun and freedom.
If you were a transformer you would be a hot-obot called Optimus Fine.
Life is not what you take of it, but what you make of it.
Homework: Do me do me. Internet: Don't listen to that slut.
Take chances, make mistakes, and don't regret a second of life.
Life's not a bitch, you're the bitch because your not trying hard enough.
If you ever get caught sleeping on the job... slowly raise your head and say, 'In Jesus name, amen'
The awkward moment when someone is yelling at you and you're desperately trying not to laugh at their angry face.
Don't make time for people who can't make time for you.
