When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist.
Don't tell me the rules if you can't even play the game.
My life without you would be like a broken pencil. Pointless.
The awkward moment when you're on a bouncy castle and you fall down and the other bitches on there wont stop jumping so u can't get back up.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
Fear not the weapon, but the hand that wields it.
Don't waste electricity, would you like it if I turned you on and walked away?
Gravity is not the reason why people fall in love.
Don't erase your haters, embrace your haters.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except marriage, marriage will kill you.
The awkward moment when Edward and Santa bump into each other in your room because they're both watching you sleep.
Single doesn't always mean lonely and Relationship doesn't always mean happy.
Ironically, Chuck Norris' hidden talent is invisibility.
Why don't you just swallow all that makeup you put on? You might become pretty on the inside.
I'm not an alcoholic, I only drink two times a year. On my birthday, and when its not my birthday.
If all MEN are the same, why do WOMEN take so long to choose one?
Just like every president has a teleprompter, every idiot has a cameraman.
You're only as good as your last game.
