When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
The world is a fucked up place. You fit right in.
Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything.
The awkward moment when you realize that people are really laughing at you, not with you.
If we're not supposed to have late night snacks....why is there a light in the fridge?
I want to go to Heaven for the climate, and Hell for the company.
Baby, I treat you like my homework, I'll slam you on the table and do you all night long.
The awkward moment when a guy has bigger boobs than you.
Men are like parking lots; all the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.
If you can't change your circumstances, change the way you respond to them.
Everyone thinks that: Its every girl's dream to find the perfect guy....in fact its every girl's dream to eat without getting fat.
The awkward moment when someone is yelling at you and you're desperately trying not to laugh at their angry face.
My middle finger gets a boner when I think of you.
It's half water, and half air. So really, the glass is never half empty.
When your mum decides to be in the room while you're on the computer so you just switch to Google and just stare at it.
Love is calling back regardless of how many times they hangup on you.
If most people said what was on their minds, they'd be speechless.
"**** ***** is now friends with ****** ****** and 64 other people" damn....what a Facebook whore.
The awkward moment when teacher cracks a joke and no one laughs.
