Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Some people can't sleep because they have insomnia. I can't sleep because I have Internet connection.
Ladies, the only time it is okay to be skeleton skinny is when you are dead. So eat the frigging cookie and enjoy it.
Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I most need it.
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
Learn to spell, kids. Auto Correct isn't always write.
Regret lasts longer than fear.
Winners don't wait for chances, they grab them.
You can be worthless to someone, but priceless to another.
Chuck Norris was bit by a poisonous snake. After 5 days of excruciating pain, the snake died.
Never count on tomorrow because it may forget to show up.
Its the scars that can't be seen that take the longest to heal.
Cool story bro, tell it again and I'll punch you.
Take chances, make mistakes, and don't regret a second of life.
Cool story bro, now go make me a sandwich.
I should've known it wasn't going to work out between my ex-wife and me. After all, I'm a Libra and she's a bitch.
Haters are just confused admirers.
Cool story bro. You should get it in Oprah's book club.
Those who criticize our generation forget who raised it.
