Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
We always start with completing the difficult. It just takes us a little longer to do the impossible.
Jesus can walk on water but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
Cool story bro, changed my life.
I will still love you when you're no longer young and beautiful.
Every day you will meet a moron; if you haven't met one today, tomorrow you'll meet two.
Cry over cuts and stitches not bastards and bitches.
I'm your favorite hello and your hardest goodbye.
What's the most successful pickup line ever? A: 'Does this smell like chloroform?'
I love using big words to sound smart. I mean utilizing gargantuan idioms to fabricate intelligence.
Don't let the world change your smile, let your smile change the world.
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?'Hold my purse.'
When staring someone in the eyes, u wait for them to stare back at you.
That moment when your mum shouts your name so you do a quick recap of all the things you've done recently to see if you're in trouble.
Boyfriends are like goal keepers. Just because they are there doesn't mean you can't score.
When I watch MTV Cribs, the feeling of guilt from illegally downloading songs goes away.
Dreams lift when reality falls.
To catch me, you gotta be fast. To find me, you gotta be smart. To be me? Sh*t! You gotta be kidding!
If you text me first, it's your job to keep the conversation going!
