Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
I put the laughter in manslaughter.
If you were a transformer you would be a hot-obot called Optimus Fine.
It sucks that you can't photoshop that personality too, bitch.
Trust in God but lock your car.
Me: *sneeze* Class: *silence*. Popular girl: *sneeze* Class: God bless you amazing and lovely sweetheart.
Act like a gentleman, think like a boss.
The awkward moment when the world doesn't end on December 21st 2012, and a lot of girls end up being pregnant.
Dear Bull, What did I do to deserve so much shit?
Laughing is when a smile has an orgasm.
Cry over cuts and stitches not bastards and bitches.
Taking forever to pick up a phone call because you're dancing to your ring tone.
A real man gives up one night stands for a woman he can't stand one night without.
I love that whenever we speak I have no idea what to say or how to feel.
The world needs less people that judge and more people that love.
The toughest thing about success is that you've got to keep on being a success.
Life's not a bitch, you're the bitch because your not trying hard enough.
Yeah, I'm single, but you're gonna have to be amazing to change that.
A successful man is one that can make more than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
