Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Every sinner has a future, every saint has a past.
24 hours in a day 24 beers in a case coincidence? I think not.
I'm not an alcoholic, I only drink two times a year. On my birthday, and when its not my birthday.
If your not going to win the argument, lie.
Who you are, who you want to be, and who you once were can be three different people.
We put the "us" in trust, baby.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Right things happen at the wrong time if you wait for them to happen.
Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
I don't have enough middle fingers to show you how I feel.
Drunk words are sober thoughts.
Sitting in the cinema, ready to watch the movie, then BOOM! The human giraffe sits in front of you.
If Bill Gates had a penny for every time I had to reboot my computer...oh wait, he does.
You can spend your life avoiding your dreams, but everynight you go to sleep.
Boobs. That's all, just like this if you like boobs.
It's hard to answer "what's wrong", when nothing is right...
Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon.
He who laughs last didn't get it.
