Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
NO MUM. You're mad because you're wrong not because I was talking back.
The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
I don't have an attitude, I have a personality you can't handle.
We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 52 people. Then the grenade exploded.
I went up to my moms face and screamed " I WANT FOOD !!! " Until I got slapped in the face
Never close a door that someone still holds a key to.
Take my advice, don't listen to my advice.
The awkward moment when the world doesn't end on December 21st 2012, and a lot of girls end up being pregnant.
If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
You need over 60 muscles to look angry and less then 10 to smile, so why tire yourself?
The world needs less people that judge and more people that love.
I hate when I'm tired and sleepy, but when I go to bed my body says "Just kidding."
Don't trip over bitches, walk over them.
Nice shoes! Wanna screw?
Behind every girls favorite song, is an untold story.
If you got haters, you must be doing something right.
You can't buy love....but you pay heavily for it.
