A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
I have no time for stupid people. But they sure do have time for me.
Love is calling back regardless of how many times they hangup on you.
If she talks to you about everyone then she must talk to everyone about you.
Definition of disappointment: guy runs into a wall with a boner and breaks his nose first...
I don't watch any reality TV because I seriously can't afford to hate society any more than I already do.
A rumor goes in one ear, then out of many mouths.
I would kick your ass right now, but that would be animal abuse.
I tried to send you the most sexy thing on the planet, but the mail man told me to get out of the mailbox.
I have moments of brilliance and hours of stupidity.
The awkward moment when you're on a bouncy castle and you fall down and the other bitches on there wont stop jumping so u can't get back up.
I study for minutes and take breaks for hours.
A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist.
Life is like a penis. It's short, but seems so long when it gets hard
The word of the day is 'legs'. Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
You don't have to understand to be understanding.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
Laughing is when a smile has an orgasm.
Every woman is beautiful, it just takes the right man to see it.