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A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..

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Women want one man to fulfill their every need. Men want every woman to fulfill their one need.

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Teacher: "You failed the test." - Student:"You failed to educate."

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Chuck Norris will never die of a heart attack because his heart isn't that foolish to attack him.

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Life is not measured by the amount of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

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Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

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We're all born screaming, naked, and starving...then it's pretty much downhill from there.

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I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.

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I know I have friends and I know I have enemies. I just can't tell who is who.

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The smile is every woman's sexiest curve.

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You can spend your life avoiding your dreams, but everynight you go to sleep.

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I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

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Ironically, Chuck Norris' hidden talent is invisibility.

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Girls are like aspirin. I take two and go to bed.

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Short answers silent treatment not smiling = You did something wrong.

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When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.

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You never know how precious it is until you lose it. And you never know how annoying it is until you have it.

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If you can't change your circumstances, change the way you respond to them.

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You don't like my opinion, wait until you hear the ones I keep to myself.