A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
Relationship status: Thank god there are 2 TVs in this house.
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 52 people. Then the grenade exploded.
My middle finger gets a boner when I think of you.
Finding the meaning to life gives life no meaning.
Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon.
Cool story bro, tell it again and I'll punch you.
Just because your smart doesn't mean your wise.
Married men live longer than single men, but they're a lot more willing to die.
Drunk words are sober thoughts.
That awkward moment when your pet is staring at you naked...
Hello substitute teacher... Goodbye assigned seats.
I don't have an attitude, I have a personality you can't handle.
If you're good at something, don't do it for free.
It's hard to talk face to face, when your head is up your ass.
That awkward moment when you walk through the metal detectors at the airport, and your abs of steel set them off.
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I wanted a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.
My foot just fell asleep. I think I'm gonna kick it with your face to wake it up.
