Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
I have a lot of time on my hands when I'm wearing two watches.
Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cause I can see myself in your pants.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
Annoying moment: When you decide to be angry at someone for a week and the next morning, the anger you felt so strong, disappears.
Its much easier to apologize then it is to get permission.
I love that whenever we speak I have no idea what to say or how to feel.
We put the "us" in trust, baby.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
Some people can't sleep because they have insomnia. I can't sleep because I have Internet connection.
I'm not prejudiced, I hate everybody equally.
I love you more than a fat kid loves cake.
Never close a door that someone still holds a key to.
Every woman is beautiful, it just takes the right man to see it.
The awkward moment when teacher cracks a joke and no one laughs.
I go to bed late every night and I realize it was bad idea every morning.
Roses are red. Violets are blue! Faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don't be mad I'll be there too, not in the cage, but laughing at you.
KEEP YOUR HEAD HIGH, and you're middle finger HIGHER.
