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Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

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The human heart is like a spring, to bounce back from pitfalls and rise to joys, and it definitely needs space.

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Women worry about the things that men forget. Men worry about the things that women remember.

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Never close a door that someone still holds a key to.

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Life is a case of spoon or be spooned.

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When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.

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Some women can't find a GOOD MAN cause they're too busy looking for a PERFECT MAN.

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Why is a school zone 20mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...

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Its the scars that can't be seen that take the longest to heal.

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Aspire to inspire before you expire.

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Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

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I'm not an Alcoholic. Alcoholics need a drink, I already have one.

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I always take life with a grain of salt, ...plus a slice of lemon, ...and a shot of tequila.

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Would you like a table? ... "No, I came to the restaurant to eat on the ground, a carpet for 5 please." -_-

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Teacher: "You failed the test." - Student:"You failed to educate."

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It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.

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Jingle bells, Twilight smells, Edward ran away, Bella died, Jacob cried, POTTER ALL THE WAY!!

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You can hold on to a person but not a relationship.

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Imagine how different your life would be if you said literally everything that was on your mind.