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Gravity is not the reason why people fall in love.

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Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery but today is a gift. That is why they call it the present.

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What you call dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.

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Ohh, that sounds kinda harsh. I better add a 'lol'.

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Eventually people will realize that mistakes are meant for learning not repeating.

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Don't judge a book by its movie.

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Jesus can walk on water. Ice is 100% water, I can walk on ice. Therefore, I'M 100% JESUS BITCHES.

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Definition of disappointment: guy runs into a wall with a boner and breaks his nose first...

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The more pictures you post of your pet the more lonely you are. It's science.

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If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.

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You never know how precious it is until you lose it. And you never know how annoying it is until you have it.

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So you're the bitch that told the bitch that I'm a bitch well listen bitch it takes a bitch to know a bitch, bitch.

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When your best friend comes to you with a bitch problem and you're like"I don't give a fuck."

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Take my advice, don't listen to my advice.

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You can spend your life avoiding your dreams, but everynight you go to sleep.

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Charlie Sheen just set record for 'fastest time to reach a million Twitter followers.' Not his only speed record.

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I can only endure saying goodbye because saying hello again will be all the sweeter.

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Chuck Norris has three types of laundry...whites, darks and blood stained.

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Take chances, make mistakes, and don't regret a second of life.