Gravity is not the reason why people fall in love.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
Jingle bells, Twilight smells, Edward ran away, Bella died, Jacob cried, POTTER ALL THE WAY!!
I bet Osama Bin Laden regrets coming out of hiding to watch the Royal Wedding.
Your a boy, I'm a girl. So tell me again why we aren't dating?
I'm thinking of a finger, and it's not 1, 2, 4, or 5.
If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
That awkward moment when your pet is staring at you naked...
Admit it! At one point in your life you closed the fridge really slowly to see when the light turns off.
The awkward moment when a guy has bigger boobs than you.
I eat problems, then shit out success.
Finding the meaning to life gives life no meaning.
I don't watch any reality TV because I seriously can't afford to hate society any more than I already do.
The awkward moment when people are complaining about the sizes of their nose when Voldemort's in the room.
I always wanted to be someone. I see now that I should have been more specific.
If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
Life is like a penis. It's short, but seems so long when it gets hard
24 hours in a day 24 beers in a case coincidence? I think not.
Don't make me mad then tell me to calm down. Thats like stabbing someone then wondering why they're bleeding.
