The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to, unless you're in prison.
Immaturity keeps me young.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
God made opposites. He made heaven and hell, darkness and light. He made me smart, and you....
If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Forget it enough to get over it, remember it enough so it doesnt happen again.
Boys will break your heart, Real men will pick up the pieces.
Bombing for peace is like fucking for virginity.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Ladies, the only time it is okay to be skeleton skinny is when you are dead. So eat the frigging cookie and enjoy it.
Your character is more accurately determined by what you say about others behind their backs.
My life without you would be like a broken pencil. Pointless.
Why is a school zone 20mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...
I'm sorry you had bad luck and turned out to be an idiot.
Sex burns 25.7 calories per minute, with that being said, wanna work out?
Sex is like money. It's only a problem when you don't have any.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
