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The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

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Giving up does not always mean you're weak, sometimes it just means your strong enough to let go.

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Lifes a bitch....so when life sucks just sit back and enjoy the head.

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I'm not flirting, I'm just acting extra nice to someone who is extra attractive.

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You never realize how offensive your music is until your parents are sitting in the passenger seat.

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Definition of disappointment: guy runs into a wall with a boner and breaks his nose first...

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Cool story bro, changed my life.

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You live and you learn.

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Never close a door that someone still holds a key to.

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What you call dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.

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We always start with completing the difficult. It just takes us a little longer to do the impossible.

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I bet Osama Bin Laden regrets coming out of hiding to watch the Royal Wedding.

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Make money, don't let it make you.

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Life is not measured by the amount of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

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The word 'studying' was made up of two words originally - 'students dying'.

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If you were my homework I'd do you on the table.

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Maturity is knowing when to be immature.

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Cool story bro, now go make me a sandwich.

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"**** ***** is now friends with ****** ****** and 64 other people" damn....what a Facebook whore.