The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
Your character is more accurately determined by what you say about others behind their backs.
Taking forever to pick up a phone call because you're dancing to your ring tone.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
I eat problems, then shit out success.
I couldn't help but notice that awesome ends with 'me' and ugly starts with 'u'.
Short answers silent treatment not smiling = You did something wrong.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except marriage, marriage will kill you.
Everyday the sun rises, but it doesn't shine until you wake up.
Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
Cool story bro. In what chapter do you shut the fuck up in?
It's weird not to be weird.
Haters make you famous.
Life is not what you take of it, but what you make of it.
If you got haters, you must be doing something right.
Brushing your teeth before breakfast, is the same as wiping your ass before taking a shit.
It sucks that you can't photoshop that personality too, bitch.
