My biggest mistake is not kissing you when I had the chance.
I'm tired of girls complaining that theres no good guys left...hello..we are where you left us, IN THE FRIEND ZONE.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cause I can see myself in your pants.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Mephobia. The fear of becoming so awesome that everyone dies.
Fear not the weapon, but the hand that wields it.
If we only attempt that which we are capable of doing, we will never grow.
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
If karma doesn't knock you out soon, I will.
Charlie Sheen just set record for 'fastest time to reach a million Twitter followers.' Not his only speed record.
So you're the bitch that told the bitch that I'm a bitch well listen bitch it takes a bitch to know a bitch, bitch.
I study for minutes and take breaks for hours.
I miss you like an idiot misses the point.
Eventually people will realize that mistakes are meant for learning not repeating.
Life's not a bitch, you're the bitch because your not trying hard enough.
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
I'm experiencing Deja Vu and Amnesia at the same time... I think I've forgotten this before...
You can be worthless to someone, but priceless to another.
