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From a girl's point of view, the guy always chooses the slut. From a boy's point of view, the girl always chooses the jerk.

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Off; the general direction in which I wish you would fuck.

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I've just moved you to the top of my 'to do' list.

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Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

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It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.

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Truth can stand on its own, only lies require faith.

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This duct tape makes everything you say sound like "yes".

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I study for minutes and take breaks for hours.

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Ohh, that sounds kinda harsh. I better add a 'lol'.

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Shit happens bro. Now get over it.

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Everyone thinks that: Its every girl's dream to find the perfect guy....in fact its every girl's dream to eat without getting fat.

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If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

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No really officer, I'm not as think as you drunk I am.

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What you call dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.

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2013: The year when the movie 2012 will be moved from the action section, to comedy section.

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Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?

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I'm your favorite hello and your hardest goodbye.

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You don't have to understand to be understanding.

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Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.