From a girl's point of view, the guy always chooses the slut. From a boy's point of view, the girl always chooses the jerk.
I have finally decided to give a crap. Now who wants the first piece?
I should've known it wasn't going to work out between my ex-wife and me. After all, I'm a Libra and she's a bitch.
No one said it would be easy but I'm saying it's going to be worth it.
Alarm Clocks, because every morning should begin with a heart attack.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
Act like a gentleman, think like a boss.
Nice shoes! Wanna screw?
That moment when your mum shouts your name so you do a quick recap of all the things you've done recently to see if you're in trouble.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
Imagine how different your life would be if you said literally everything that was on your mind.
I would kick your ass right now, but that would be animal abuse.
I love that whenever we speak I have no idea what to say or how to feel.
You can be worthless to someone, but priceless to another.
Cool story bro. Yeah your mums in the next chapter.
Don't wait for the perfect moment, take the moment and make it perfect.
Don't let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game.
I don't watch any reality TV because I seriously can't afford to hate society any more than I already do.
