From a girl's point of view, the guy always chooses the slut. From a boy's point of view, the girl always chooses the jerk.
After Mondays and Tuesdays even the calender says WTF.
"Dude that song is old"...."Well so is your mom....but you still listen to her."
Taking forever to pick up a phone call because you're dancing to your ring tone.
The awkward moment when Edward and Santa bump into each other in your room because they're both watching you sleep.
You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to, unless you're in prison.
The awkward moment when wikipedia has copied your homework.
A rumor goes in one ear, then out of many mouths.
Teacher: "You failed the test." - Student:"You failed to educate."
He broke her heart. She broke his X-Box. I think we all know who cried harder.
I'm a very nice person...but for you I'll make an exception.
I didn't lose my sanity. I sent it away for its own protection.
Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
Alarm Clocks, because every morning should begin with a heart attack.
Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.
I'm not prejudiced, I hate everybody equally.
Dear 'K', You should get arrested for killing conversations.
I've gone bankrupt a few times and it's pretty scary. But eventually I make it to the ATM and get more money.
