From a girl's point of view, the guy always chooses the slut. From a boy's point of view, the girl always chooses the jerk.
Regret lasts longer than fear.
I know I just met you last week but I kinda, sorta, just maybe, seriously have been curiously thinking about you every day since.
Not everyone's gonna understand you and that's ok.
F that B.
Love me always, love me never, but don't love me sometimes.
The last thing I want to do is die.
Some take the bait, others reel it in.
Admit it! At one point in your life you closed the fridge really slowly to see when the light turns off.
I hate when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she's not your friend anymore.
God must love stupid people. He made SO many.
Love always costs more than you can afford, but its always worth the price.
A good friend buys you lunch. A true friend eats yours.
I don't fail, I succeed in finding what does not work.
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.
Boobs. That's all, just like this if you like boobs.
Alarm Clocks, because every morning should begin with a heart attack.
The awkward moment when you politely decline food at a friends house and immediately regret the decision afterwards.
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places
