From a girl's point of view, the guy always chooses the slut. From a boy's point of view, the girl always chooses the jerk.
Fall in love with my mind.
Mom: What do you think I am, made of money? Daughter: Isn't that what MOM stands for?
The awkward moment when you're eavesdropping on a strangers conversation and accidentally laugh out loud at a funny part.
The awkward moment when you're on a bouncy castle and you fall down and the other bitches on there wont stop jumping so u can't get back up.
If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back to visit, hunt it down and kill it.
I've just moved you to the top of my 'to do' list.
Facebook is for for friends who are now strangers, Twitter is for strangers who should be your friends.
That awkward moment when you walk through the metal detectors at the airport, and your abs of steel set them off.
A relationship with NO TRUST is like a car with no gasoline. You can stay in it all you want but it won't go anywhere.
Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.
I say excuse me when I burp even when nobody is around....true gentleman.
You can hold on to a person but not a relationship.
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
Lifes a bitch....so when life sucks just sit back and enjoy the head.
Perception is everything.
Life is like a penis. It's short, but seems so long when it gets hard
A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist.
Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
