From a girl's point of view, the guy always chooses the slut. From a boy's point of view, the girl always chooses the jerk.
Cockiness is just confidence without confidence.
I have moments of brilliance and hours of stupidity.
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
Eventually people will realize that mistakes are meant for learning not repeating.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
WORRY looks around. REGRET looks back. FAITH looks forward.
Short answers silent treatment not smiling = You did something wrong.
Dear Boyfriend, Your wallet was getting fat so I thought I'd take it out for some exercise. Sincerely, your Girlfriend.
No really officer, I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
If all MEN are the same, why do WOMEN take so long to choose one?
My ideal mate is someone like you, but with a different personality and with a different face.
Winners do what other people won't.
A rumor goes in one ear, then out of many mouths.
If you watch Jaws backwards, its about a shark who throws up so many people, they have to open a beach.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
Thanks wind, you totally raped my hair.
I hate when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she's not your friend anymore.
