The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
I will still love you when you're no longer young and beautiful.
Charlie Sheen just set record for 'fastest time to reach a million Twitter followers.' Not his only speed record.
You said what you said and you said what you said, so what you said is what you said.
Regret lasts longer than fear.
You're never too old to learn something stupid.
Cool story bro, now go make me a sandwich.
I swear to drunk I'm not god.
Single doesn't always mean lonely and Relationship doesn't always mean happy.
Be positive for no reason.
I need a six month holiday, twice a year.
I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.
I'm so broke I can't even pay attention.
Teacher: Why can I hear talking? Student: Because you have ears.
Those who criticize our generation forget who raised it.
Today was a beautiful day. Then you showed up.
No really officer, I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
Aspire to inspire before you expire.
Perception is everything.
