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The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

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If you can't convince them, confuse them.

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The last thing I want to do is die.

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I will still love you when you're no longer young and beautiful.

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I want to go to Heaven for the climate, and Hell for the company.

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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If a quiz is quizzical, what's a test?

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Light up the world with your smile, because you never know who might be stuck somewhere dark.

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Don't waste electricity, would you like it if I turned you on and walked away?

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Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

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Jingle bells, Twilight smells, Edward ran away, Bella died, Jacob cried, POTTER ALL THE WAY!!

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If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

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I have finally decided to give a crap. Now who wants the first piece?

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You live and you learn.

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The awkward moment when you're eavesdropping on a strangers conversation and accidentally laugh out loud at a funny part.

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Laughing at the person because the joke was a fail.

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When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.

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I know I have friends and I know I have enemies. I just can't tell who is who.

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The world needs less people that judge and more people that love.