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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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That sad moment when you find an old conversation between you and someone you don't talk to anymore.

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Don't look back. You'll miss what's in front of you.

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Baby, I treat you like my homework, I'll slam you on the table and do you all night long.

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I am not afraid of death, it's just that I prefer not to be there when it happens.

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You should never ruin an apology with an excuse.

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I'm not addicted to Twitter. I only tweet when I have time: lunch time, break time, off time, this time, that time, any time, all the time.

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Bombing for peace is like fucking for virginity.

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If I don't answer your first call, calling me 39971629829202 times won't make me pick up.

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I swear Mario is a hobo! he wakes up wearing the same clothes, runs in sewers, and steals coins. To buy what. MUSHROOMS?

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A soulmate is meeting the piece of you that is missing. It's undeniable and scary, but you feel lost without it.

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It's not how much you love someone that matters, it's how much you make them feel loved.

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I can only endure saying goodbye because saying hello again will be all the sweeter.

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If someone tries to bring you down it means that you are higher than them.

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When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.

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You are not a winner, just the last loser standing.

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When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

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You can hold on to a person but not a relationship.

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Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?