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Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

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The awkward moment when you politely decline food at a friends house and immediately regret the decision afterwards.

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Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words.

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I'm tired of girls complaining that theres no good guys left...hello..we are where you left us, IN THE FRIEND ZONE.

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How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

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Life is so much funnier when you have a dirty mind.

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Life is to SHORT, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly.

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When life puts you in tough situations don't say "WHY ME?", just say "TRY ME".

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When someone says they have to ask you a question, you think of all the bad things you've done recently.

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I didn't fall, I just caught the floor.

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Winners do what other people won't.

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The minute you settle for less than what you deserve you get less than what you settled for.

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Shit happens bro. Now get over it.

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A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

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Fear not the weapon, but the hand that wields it.

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If a quiz is quizzical, what's a test?

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The sacrifice of hiding in the light is living with your shadows.

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Everyday the sun rises, but it doesn't shine until you wake up.

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I don't have enough middle fingers to show you how I feel.