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Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

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I will love you until the end. If you feel that I don't love you, this is just the beginning.

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I order the club sandwich all the time, but I'm not even a member, man. I don't know how I get away with it.

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When someone says "It's getting hot in here" I automatically think, "So take off all your clothes".

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Brushing your teeth before breakfast, is the same as wiping your ass before taking a shit.

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Don't fall in love, fall off a bridge, trust me, it hurts less.

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If it put a smile on my face, there is no reason to regret.

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Don't waste electricity, would you like it if I turned you on and walked away?

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You can hold on to a person but not a relationship.

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Immaturity keeps me young.

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There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

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I always wanted to be someone. I see now that I should have been more specific.

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I love that whenever we speak I have no idea what to say or how to feel.

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I go to bed late every night and I realize it was bad idea every morning.

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How much coke did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.

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I'm thinking of a finger, and it's not 1, 2, 4, or 5.

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It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.

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My middle finger gets a boner when I think of you.

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Me: *sneeze* Class: *silence*. Popular girl: *sneeze* Class: God bless you amazing and lovely sweetheart.