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The toughest thing about success is that you've got to keep on being a success.

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Some people can't sleep because they have insomnia. I can't sleep because I have Internet connection.

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Always remember to smile.

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Jingle bells, Twilight smells, Edward ran away, Bella died, Jacob cried, POTTER ALL THE WAY!!

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I'll advise you... don't mess with me: I know Karate, Judo, Tai Kwon Do, Jujitsu and 28 other dangerous words.

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Sex burns 25.7 calories per minute, with that being said, wanna work out?

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The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

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I will love you until the end. If you feel that I don't love you, this is just the beginning.

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You know you're getting old when people start telling you how young you look.

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You live and you learn.

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Next time someone says "sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me" I'm gonna throw the dictionary at them.

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The minute you settle for less than what you deserve you get less than what you settled for.

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I'm not an alchoholic, I'm a drunk. Alchoholics go to meetings.

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If there was only woman ruling the word there would be no wars. Just a bunch of countries jealous of each other.

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Pickles are just cucumbers soaked in evil.

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Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

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Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I most need it.

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If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

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If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of bill payments.