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The toughest thing about success is that you've got to keep on being a success.

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If you can't convince them, confuse them.

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Teacher: "DO YOU WANT TO SPEND LUNCH IN MY CLASS?!" Me: Are you asking me out? O_O

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Your character is more accurately determined by what you say about others behind their backs.

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In my dreams you're mine, in my life you're a dream.

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Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.

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If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.

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Jesus can walk on water. Ice is 100% water, I can walk on ice. Therefore, I'M 100% JESUS BITCHES.

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We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.

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Whenever I use "Thus" in a essay, I feel like motherfucking Shakespeare.

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Life is not measured by the amount of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

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Got an issue? Get a tissue.

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Cool story bro. Publish it and sell it to someone who gives a shit.

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Good things don't always have to come to an end.

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A pretty girl is nothing with an ugly attitude.

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Chuck Norris will never die of a heart attack because his heart isn't that foolish to attack him.

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I'm sorry you had bad luck and turned out to be an idiot.

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It isn't till you've lost everything that you are free to do anything.

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Jesus can walk on water but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.