Got an issue? Get a tissue.
If she talks to you about everyone then she must talk to everyone about you.
You have ONE advantage over me, you can kiss my ass and I can't.
Mephobia. The fear of becoming so awesome that everyone dies.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
The awkward moment when you're eavesdropping on a strangers conversation and accidentally laugh out loud at a funny part.
My middle finger gets a boner when I think of you.
If all MEN are the same, why do WOMEN take so long to choose one?
If you want to look young and thin, hang out around fat old people.
Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon.
If you watch Cinderella backwards, it's about a woman who learns her place.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
Live everyday like it's your last because someday you will be right.
Giving up does not always mean you're weak, sometimes it just means your strong enough to let go.
It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
I have a lot of time on my hands when I'm wearing two watches.
In my dreams you're mine, in my life you're a dream.
