Got an issue? Get a tissue.
I'll advise you... don't mess with me: I know Karate, Judo, Tai Kwon Do, Jujitsu and 28 other dangerous words.
It's hard to answer "what's wrong", when nothing is right...
If life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, then lets get wasted and have the time of our lives.
Sex is like money. It's only a problem when you don't have any.
Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cause I can see myself in your pants.
Fairy tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.
Life is like a penis. It's short, but seems so long when it gets hard
The people who know the least about you, always have the most to say.
Cool story bro, changed my life.
No really officer, I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
After Mondays and Tuesdays even the calender says WTF.
That sad moment when you find an old conversation between you and someone you don't talk to anymore.
The awkward moment when teacher cracks a joke and no one laughs.
Today I went on thesaurus.com and searched "ninjas". The computer told me "Ninjas cannot be found". Well played, ninjas, well played.
I'm so broke I can't even pay attention.
The awkward moment when you realize that people are really laughing at you, not with you.
Cool story bro. Publish it and sell it to someone who gives a shit.
I think 'First Response' and 'Plan B' should switch names.
