Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to, unless you're in prison.
Smart girls open their mind, easy girls open their legs, and foolish girls open their heart.
We're all born screaming, naked, and starving...then it's pretty much downhill from there.
I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you.
Procrastination is like masturbation....you're only screwing yourself.
Life is a bitch, but totally do-able.
Boyfriends are like goal keepers. Just because they are there doesn't mean you can't score.
Not everyone's gonna understand you and that's ok.
That moment when your mum shouts your name so you do a quick recap of all the things you've done recently to see if you're in trouble.
Ran into my ex last week... backed up and ran over his ass again.
So you're the bitch that told the bitch that I'm a bitch well listen bitch it takes a bitch to know a bitch, bitch.
If someone tries to bring you down it means that you are higher than them.
Research shows that 90% of men don't know how to use condom, these people are called DADS.
The last thing I want to do is die.
I have finally decided to give a crap. Now who wants the first piece?
Love needs to get glasses.
Sometimes giving someone a second chance is like giving them a second bullet for their gun because they missed the first time.
Finding the meaning to life gives life no meaning.
We are bestfriends. Always remember that when you fall, I'll pick you up. After I finish laughing.
