Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to, unless you're in prison.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
I hate people who are lazy. They're so lazy, they don't even finish their own
I don't make the same mistake twice....I make it 5 or 6 times just to make sure.
Be man enough to accept the consequences, be child enough to do it anyway.
Cool story bro, changed my life.
Maturity is knowing when to be immature.
I'm not giving you an hour, or a second, or another minute longer. I'm busy getting stronger.
I can only endure saying goodbye because saying hello again will be all the sweeter.
Whenever I use "Thus" in a essay, I feel like motherfucking Shakespeare.
A rumor goes in one ear, then out of many mouths.
Your actions are speaking so loudly, I cannot hear what you are saying.
It's hard to talk face to face, when your head is up your ass.
Don't trip over bitches, walk over them.
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?'Hold my purse.'
The greatest part of being imperfect, is being perfect at it.
S_CCESS can't be complete without U.
That awkward moment when it's not okay after an apology.
I swear Mario is a hobo! he wakes up wearing the same clothes, runs in sewers, and steals coins. To buy what. MUSHROOMS?
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