Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to, unless you're in prison.
It's better to be the owner of your silence than the slave of your words.
Life is like a penis. It's short, but seems so long when it gets hard
Not everyone's gonna understand you and that's ok.
Love is calling back regardless of how many times they hangup on you.
Nice shoes! Wanna screw?
The word 'studying' was made up of two words originally - 'students dying'.
Two things I hate the most: (1) The new lover of an EX (2) The EX of a new lover.
Don't erase your haters, embrace your haters.
Bombing for peace is like fucking for virginity.
You should appreciate what you have, before it becomes what you had.
Just like every president has a teleprompter, every idiot has a cameraman.
A relationship with NO TRUST is like a car with no gasoline. You can stay in it all you want but it won't go anywhere.
I'll advise you... don't mess with me: I know Karate, Judo, Tai Kwon Do, Jujitsu and 28 other dangerous words.
I can only endure saying goodbye because saying hello again will be all the sweeter.
You can't shake hands with a clenched fist.
New anti depressant for lesbians... Trycoxagain
Sometimes giving someone a second chance is like giving them a second bullet for their gun because they missed the first time.
Teacher: "You failed the test." - Student:"You failed to educate."
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