Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to, unless you're in prison.
An apple a day may keep the doctor away - but all these Macbooks are getting expensive.
Letting go doesn't mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be.
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a problem with my attitude, and that's not my problem.
I couldn't help but notice that awesome ends with 'me' and ugly starts with 'u'.
If you watch Cinderella backwards, it's about a woman who learns her place.
May the bridges I burn today, light the path tomorrow.
I study for minutes and take breaks for hours.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
Love always costs more than you can afford, but its always worth the price.
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
The world is a fucked up place. You fit right in.
If you find yourself using the expression "haters gonna hate" a lot, there's a better than average chance you're a douchebag.
I hate when I'm tired and sleepy, but when I go to bed my body says "Just kidding."
There's no such thing as good girls gone bad, only bad girls found out.
You can't buy love....but you pay heavily for it.
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