Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to, unless you're in prison.
When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
It's not the goodbye that hurts, but the flashbacks that follow.
KEEP YOUR HEAD HIGH, and you're middle finger HIGHER.
I study for minutes and take breaks for hours.
Some people just need a high-five. To the face. With a chair.
Gravity is not the reason why people fall in love.
The human heart is like a spring, to bounce back from pitfalls and rise to joys, and it definitely needs space.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Be positive for no reason.
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
We are bestfriends. Always remember that when you fall, I'll pick you up. After I finish laughing.
If it put a smile on my face, there is no reason to regret.
Cool story bro, changed my life.
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
Whatever floats your boat as long, as it doesn't sink mine.
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
Everyone keeps telling me how fun Angry Birds is, but I've been insulting my parakeet all week and he just seems hurt.
Forget it enough to get over it, remember it enough so it doesnt happen again.
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