Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to, unless you're in prison.
Some women can't find a GOOD MAN cause they're too busy looking for a PERFECT MAN.
The world needs less people that judge and more people that love.
I am not afraid of death, it's just that I prefer not to be there when it happens.
Don't punish the man in front of you for the mistakes made by the man behind you.
The toughest thing about success is that you've got to keep on being a success.
If you find yourself using the expression "haters gonna hate" a lot, there's a better than average chance you're a douchebag.
It's weird not to be weird.
Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Patience gets you everywhere on time.
You know you love her when people think you're crazy.
Pickles are just cucumbers soaked in evil.
Stubbing your toe and telling the inanimate object to f*ck off.
Cool story bro, changed my life.
The awkward moment when somebody asks you what's wrong and they're the problem.
If you can't beat them, taze them.
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
Wild hearts can't be broken.
Problems cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them.
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