Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to, unless you're in prison.
The greatest part of being imperfect, is being perfect at it.
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a problem with my attitude, and that's not my problem.
A relationship with NO TRUST is like a car with no gasoline. You can stay in it all you want but it won't go anywhere.
We always start with completing the difficult. It just takes us a little longer to do the impossible.
Last night I dreamt I was eating a giant marshmallow...when I woke up my pillow was gone.
If you were a transformer you would be a hot-obot called Optimus Fine.
Eventually people will realize that mistakes are meant for learning not repeating.
It is true that there is no "I" in team. But there is an "I" in win.
How ironic is life. We spend so much money on expensive clothes, but the best moments in life are spent without clothes
Thanks wind, you totally raped my hair.
A man can sweep any woman off her feet, he just needs the right broom.
Bought a CD of ice cream van music. Now I drive with the stereo on full blast, watching the disappointment on all the little kids faces.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
May the bridges I burn today, light the path tomorrow.
Never lie to someone who trusts you. Never trust someone who lies to you.
Dear Boyfriend, Your wallet was getting fat so I thought I'd take it out for some exercise. Sincerely, your Girlfriend.
I love walking in the rain 'cause no one can see me crying.
A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist.
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