Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to, unless you're in prison.
Do you work at Subway? Cause you just gave me a footlong.
Cool story bro, tell it again and I'll punch you.
Roses are red. Violets are blue! Faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don't be mad I'll be there too, not in the cage, but laughing at you.
.sdrawkcab siht daer uoy edam I
So my life has reached the point where I've stopped asking "Why me!?" and started asking "Oh, again?"
I don't have an attitude, I have a personality you can't handle.
You said what you said and you said what you said, so what you said is what you said.
Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.
You're only as good as your last game.
Science has made us gods even before we are worthy of being men.
Don't break anybody's heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206.
You never how much is enough until you know how much is too much.
Why don't you just swallow all that makeup you put on? You might become pretty on the inside.
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
Haters make you famous.
If it put a smile on my face, there is no reason to regret.
I hate when I'm tired and sleepy, but when I go to bed my body says "Just kidding."
I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you.
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