Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to, unless you're in prison.
Alarm Clocks, because every morning should begin with a heart attack.
I've gone bankrupt a few times and it's pretty scary. But eventually I make it to the ATM and get more money.
Don't erase your haters, embrace your haters.
You should never ruin an apology with an excuse.
It takes more energy to look back than to look forward into the future.
If someone tries to bring you down it means that you are higher than them.
I don't hate school. I just hate the teachers, the homework, the exams and waking up early in the morning.
Playing comes first, you can work later.
Those who like me, raise your hand. Those who don't, raise your standards.
Dear 'K', You should get arrested for killing conversations.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Right things happen at the wrong time if you wait for them to happen.
This duct tape makes everything you say sound like "yes".
Everyone is gifted, but some people never open their package.
Roses are red. Violets are blue! Faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don't be mad I'll be there too, not in the cage, but laughing at you.
When life throws a rock at you, throw back a brick.
I'm not an Alcoholic. Alcoholics need a drink, I already have one.
The awkward moment when you realize that people are really laughing at you, not with you.
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