Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to, unless you're in prison.
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?'Hold my purse.'
Life is not measured by the amount of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cause I can see myself in your pants.
You know you're getting old when people start telling you how young you look.
Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.
Shit happens bro. Now get over it.
Those awkward karate chops you give door just incase it shocks you.
Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you weaker and weaker until it eventually kills you.
A girl just told me she wants something with a lot of diamonds for her birthday, I'm gettin her a deck of cards!
Hurting someone with the truth is better than killing them with a lie.
I miss you like an idiot misses the point.
I'm experiencing Deja Vu and Amnesia at the same time... I think I've forgotten this before...
The smile is every woman's sexiest curve.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
Cool story bro. Yeah your mums in the next chapter.
Cockiness is just confidence without confidence.
The sacrifice of hiding in the light is living with your shadows.
You can be worthless to someone, but priceless to another.
© 2016 EpicQuotes |