Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to, unless you're in prison.
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I wanted a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
WORRY looks around. REGRET looks back. FAITH looks forward.
Believe in yourself. If you don't, then no one else will have a reason to.
Life isn't about staying dry, it's about learning how to play in the rain.
Nice guys finish last, that is because they put their girls first.
Taking forever to pick up a phone call because you're dancing to your ring tone.
I'm not addicted to Twitter. I only tweet when I have time: lunch time, break time, off time, this time, that time, any time, all the time.
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
The awkward moment when teacher cracks a joke and no one laughs.
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.
From a girl's point of view, the guy always chooses the slut. From a boy's point of view, the girl always chooses the jerk.
Yeah, I'm single, but you're gonna have to be amazing to change that.
If you watch Cinderella backwards, it's about a woman who learns her place.
Gravity is not the reason why people fall in love.
If being sexy were against the law you'd be guilty as charged.
Testing boys by not responding to their txts to see if they'll txt you again.
The world is a fucked up place. You fit right in.
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