Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to, unless you're in prison.
The human heart is like a spring, to bounce back from pitfalls and rise to joys, and it definitely needs space.
"Dude, that song is old." Sorry, I didn't notice the expiry date.
When a teacher sends you outside you have successfully won the argument.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
When I'm always in my room; parents complain. When I go out; parents complain.
Boobs. That's all, just like this if you like boobs.
After Mondays and Tuesdays even the calender says WTF.
If you lost your virginity, Chuck Norris probably has it.
When all fails, kamikaze and take everyone with you.
Girls are like aspirin. I take two and go to bed.
When I'm bored, I eat. When I'm happy, I eat. When I'm sad, I eat.
So you're the bitch that told the bitch that I'm a bitch well listen bitch it takes a bitch to know a bitch, bitch.
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
If you aren't good at lying, you better be good at keeping secrets.
Cool story bro. Publish it and sell it to someone who gives a shit.
How much coke did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.
Playing comes first, you can work later.
I want to go to Heaven for the climate, and Hell for the company.
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