I don't make the same mistake twice....I make it 5 or 6 times just to make sure.
I'm a very nice person...but for you I'll make an exception.
I wish I was as much of a morning person as my penis is.
You can be worthless to someone, but priceless to another.
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
Your actions are speaking so loudly, I cannot hear what you are saying.
If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.
Haters are just confused admirers.
Life is to SHORT, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly.
If you ever get caught sleeping on the job... slowly raise your head and say, 'In Jesus name, amen'
Don't trip over bitches, walk over them.
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.
People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.
Kiss me if I'm wrong, but is your name Susan?
If you can't beat them, taze them.
When single you see happy couples. When in a relationship you see happy singles.
Nice guys finish last, that is because they put their girls first.
You can't define love, but love can define you.
I'm invisible, can you see me? Yeah? How about tomorrow night?
