I don't make the same mistake twice....I make it 5 or 6 times just to make sure.
Nice shoes! Wanna screw?
Dreams lift when reality falls.
I love you more than a fat kid loves cake.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?
You don't like my opinion, wait until you hear the ones I keep to myself.
I think therefore I am, we think therefore it is.
A soulmate is meeting the piece of you that is missing. It's undeniable and scary, but you feel lost without it.
Real eyes realize real lies.
I put the laughter in manslaughter.
Bombing for peace is like fucking for virginity.
I don't hate school. I just hate the teachers, the homework, the exams and waking up early in the morning.
Playing comes first, you can work later.
Women want one man to fulfill their every need. Men want every woman to fulfill their one need.
If you find yourself using the expression "haters gonna hate" a lot, there's a better than average chance you're a douchebag.
I've gone bankrupt a few times and it's pretty scary. But eventually I make it to the ATM and get more money.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
