I don't make the same mistake twice....I make it 5 or 6 times just to make sure.
If I'm weird with you, I'm comfortable with you.
If you were a transformer you would be a hot-obot called Optimus Fine.
Cool story bro. Needs more dragons.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
I'm not flirting, I'm just acting extra nice to someone who is extra attractive.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.
If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back to visit, hunt it down and kill it.
Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
We just have to accept the fact that some people are going to stay in our hearts....even if they don't stay in our lives.
A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts.
I want to go to Heaven for the climate, and Hell for the company.
.sdrawkcab siht daer uoy edam I
Teacher: Why can I hear talking? Student: Because you have ears.
The greatest part of being imperfect, is being perfect at it.
I've gone bankrupt a few times and it's pretty scary. But eventually I make it to the ATM and get more money.
It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.
Take chances, make mistakes, and don't regret a second of life.
