I don't make the same mistake twice....I make it 5 or 6 times just to make sure.
Thanks wind, you totally raped my hair.
Why drink and drive when you can smoke and fly.
Everybody thinks that a girl's dream is to find the perfect guy. Yeah right, our dream is to EAT WITHOUT GETTING FAT!
If you're good at something, don't do it for free.
Life is not what you take of it, but what you make of it.
Be positive for no reason.
The awkward moment when people are complaining about the sizes of their nose when Voldemort's in the room.
I love walking in the rain 'cause no one can see me crying.
If you were my homework I'd do you on the table.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too, bitch.
The awkward moment when you politely decline food at a friends house and immediately regret the decision afterwards.
Immaturity keeps me young.
I always take life with a grain of salt, ...plus a slice of lemon, ...and a shot of tequila.
Auto-correct can kiss my ask.
Kim Jong Il's last words. "Hey, you're Chuck Nor....."
.sdrawkcab siht daer uoy edam I
An apple a day may keep the doctor away - but all these Macbooks are getting expensive.
