You do not learn anything by doing everything right.
Mario: An Italian plumber that was created by Japanese people, who speaks English, but looks like a Mexican.
Taking forever to pick up a phone call because you're dancing to your ring tone.
I'm killing time, waiting for time to kill me.
I think 'First Response' and 'Plan B' should switch names.
Karma's a bitch when you're a bitch.
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.
When life throws a rock at you, throw back a brick.
Everyone's fine with babies being entertained by keys, but let one baby drive a Porsche and suddenly I'm a horrible uncle.
Girls are like aspirin. I take two and go to bed.
I don't hate school. I just hate the teachers, the homework, the exams and waking up early in the morning.
A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts.
Everyone thinks that: Its every girl's dream to find the perfect guy....in fact its every girl's dream to eat without getting fat.
Don't make time for people who can't make time for you.
Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
