You do not learn anything by doing everything right.
When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
If we only attempt that which we are capable of doing, we will never grow.
The awkward moment when people are complaining about the sizes of their nose when Voldemort's in the room.
When someone says they have to ask you a question, you think of all the bad things you've done recently.
When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.
Tip to reduce weight: Turn your head to the left then turn to the right. Repeat this exercise every time you are offered something to eat.
Those awkward karate chops you give door just incase it shocks you.
Most people are still alive because its illegal to shoot them.
Depression is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of being too strong for too long.
You can't buy love....but you pay heavily for it.
You don't have to understand to be understanding.
Chuck Norris once strangled someone with a cordless phone.
Be what you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
I'm not getting drunk. I'm getting awesome.
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
WORRY looks around. REGRET looks back. FAITH looks forward.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
I'm so broke I can't even pay attention.
