You do not learn anything by doing everything right.
To whom much is expected, much should be suspected.
Say what you mean and mean what you say because the people that matter don't mind and the people that mind don't matter.
It's not how much you love someone that matters, it's how much you make them feel loved.
Would you like a table? ... "No, I came to the restaurant to eat on the ground, a carpet for 5 please." -_-
History always has a way of repeating itself, bad or good, a perfect circle.
I hate when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she's not your friend anymore.
The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
The awkward moment when you politely decline food at a friends house and immediately regret the decision afterwards.
Coughing in front of smokers to make them feel guilty.
Real eyes realize real lies.
I'm not an alcoholic, I only drink two times a year. On my birthday, and when its not my birthday.
Teacher: Why can I hear talking? Student: Because you have ears.
The awkward moment when the world doesn't end on December 21st 2012, and a lot of girls end up being pregnant.
Auto-correct can kiss my ask.
Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
If I got a nickel every time I told my wife I loved her....I'd have a nickel.
Life is to SHORT, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly.
Jesus can walk on water but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
