How the hell does Freddy Kruger wipe his ass?
I hate when I'm tired and sleepy, but when I go to bed my body says "Just kidding."
Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
That awkward moment when sluts wear clothes.
Everybody thinks that a girl's dream is to find the perfect guy. Yeah right, our dream is to EAT WITHOUT GETTING FAT!
Believe in yourself. If you don't, then no one else will have a reason to.
It sucks that you can't photoshop that personality too, bitch.
Real eyes realize real lies.
Definition of disappointment: guy runs into a wall with a boner and breaks his nose first...
2011: Cool story, bro. 1836: Interesting tale, my fine companion.
If we only attempt that which we are capable of doing, we will never grow.
If someone tries to bring you down it means that you are higher than them.
I know they say the first love is the sweetest, but that first cut is the deepest.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
I think 'First Response' and 'Plan B' should switch names.
Fairy tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.
I don't hate school. I just hate the teachers, the homework, the exams and waking up early in the morning.
I love you more than a fat kid loves cake.
