How the hell does Freddy Kruger wipe his ass?
Don't wait for the perfect moment, take the moment and make it perfect.
I tried to send you the most sexy thing on the planet, but the mail man told me to get out of the mailbox.
Why drink and drive when you can smoke and fly.
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places
I hate when I walk into a room, forget what I need, walk out and then remember.
God must love stupid people. He made SO many.
Be positive for no reason.
You can be worthless to someone, but priceless to another.
Nice guys finish last, that is because they put their girls first.
WORRY looks around. REGRET looks back. FAITH looks forward.
It's not how much you love someone that matters, it's how much you make them feel loved.
A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist.
When your best friend comes to you with a bitch problem and you're like"I don't give a fuck."
Light up the world with your smile, because you never know who might be stuck somewhere dark.
Got an issue? Get a tissue.
You can't define love, but love can define you.
I'm thinking of a finger, and it's not 1, 2, 4, or 5.
Roses are red. Violets are blue! Faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don't be mad I'll be there too, not in the cage, but laughing at you.
