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How the hell does Freddy Kruger wipe his ass?

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Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?

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Taking forever to pick up a phone call because you're dancing to your ring tone.

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Don't make me mad then tell me to calm down. Thats like stabbing someone then wondering why they're bleeding.

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Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

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Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too, bitch.

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NO MUM. You're mad because you're wrong not because I was talking back.

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After Mondays and Tuesdays even the calender says WTF.

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You're only as good as your last game.

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Thanks wind, you totally raped my hair.

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That awkward moment when you don't die on Dec 21 and your kid asks you why he was born on Sept 21.

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You are the result of 4 billion years of evolutionary success. Fucking act like it.

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Those who criticize our generation forget who raised it.

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Don't look back. You'll miss what's in front of you.

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Love always costs more than you can afford, but its always worth the price.

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Don't erase your haters, embrace your haters.

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Don't tell me the rules if you can't even play the game.

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You never realize how offensive your music is until your parents are sitting in the passenger seat.

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Smart girls open their mind, easy girls open their legs, and foolish girls open their heart.