I'm a bitch? You're a bitch. Your mom's a bitch for having a bitch, your dad's a bitch for fucking a bitch. Now who's the bitch, bitch?
An apple a day may keep the doctor away - but all these Macbooks are getting expensive.
Laughing is when a smile has an orgasm.
If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
Today was a beautiful day. Then you showed up.
I'm not getting drunk. I'm getting awesome.
I don't fail, I succeed in finding what does not work.
Just like every president has a teleprompter, every idiot has a cameraman.
Life sucks. But what it sucks on we may never know.
Compromising is the same as losing, it just sucks more because winning was never in the deal.
Not everyone's gonna understand you and that's ok.
Right things happen at the wrong time if you wait for them to happen.
May the bridges I burn today, light the path tomorrow.
It's hard to answer "what's wrong", when nothing is right...
Accept what you can't change and change what you can't accept.
I have finally decided to give a crap. Now who wants the first piece?
I always take life with a grain of salt, ...plus a slice of lemon, ...and a shot of tequila.
Procrastination is like masturbation....you're only screwing yourself.
Women want one man to fulfill their every need. Men want every woman to fulfill their one need.
© 2014 EpicQuotes |