I'm a bitch? You're a bitch. Your mom's a bitch for having a bitch, your dad's a bitch for fucking a bitch. Now who's the bitch, bitch?
Life sucks. But what it sucks on we may never know.
The awkward moment when teacher cracks a joke and no one laughs.
The awkward moment when the world doesn't end on December 21st 2012, and a lot of girls end up being pregnant.
You can be worthless to someone, but priceless to another.
You have ONE advantage over me, you can kiss my ass and I can't.
Perception is everything.
I study for minutes and take breaks for hours.
Coughing in front of smokers to make them feel guilty.
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.
To whom much is expected, much should be suspected.
If you were my homework I'd do you on the table.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
I will love you until the end. If you feel that I don't love you, this is just the beginning.
If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.
If most people said what was on their minds, they'd be speechless.
I love that whenever we speak I have no idea what to say or how to feel.
Everyday the sun rises, but it doesn't shine until you wake up.
Cool story bro. You should get it in Oprah's book club.
© 2014 EpicQuotes |