I'm a bitch? You're a bitch. Your mom's a bitch for having a bitch, your dad's a bitch for fucking a bitch. Now who's the bitch, bitch?
If you're good at something, don't do it for free.
I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.
Would you like a table? ... "No, I came to the restaurant to eat on the ground, a carpet for 5 please." -_-
The awkward moment when a guy has bigger boobs than you.
Every sinner has a future, every saint has a past.
Don't fall in love, fall off a bridge, trust me, it hurts less.
Laughing is when a smile has an orgasm.
Boys will break your heart, Real men will pick up the pieces.
You should appreciate what you have, before it becomes what you had.
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery but today is a gift. That is why they call it the present.
If we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket...I'd miss u heaps and think of you often.
You never know how precious it is until you lose it. And you never know how annoying it is until you have it.
If your not going to win the argument, lie.
God must love stupid people. He made SO many.
Whenever I use "Thus" in a essay, I feel like motherfucking Shakespeare.
A girl looks at what a man drives. A woman looks at what drives a man.
Chuck Norris puts the "fun" in "Funeral".
Dear Boyfriend, Your wallet was getting fat so I thought I'd take it out for some exercise. Sincerely, your Girlfriend.
© 2015 EpicQuotes |