I'm a bitch? You're a bitch. Your mom's a bitch for having a bitch, your dad's a bitch for fucking a bitch. Now who's the bitch, bitch?
We're all born screaming, naked, and starving...then it's pretty much downhill from there.
I don't make the same mistake twice....I make it 5 or 6 times just to make sure.
Yeah, I'm single, but you're gonna have to be amazing to change that.
I am not good at giving advice, but can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
Here's a condom so that you can have protection while you go fuck yourself. :)
God made Heaven and Earth, the rest was made in China.
"Dude that song is old"...."Well so is your mom....but you still listen to her."
You got enemies, good that means you stood up for something.
When someone says they have to ask you a question, you think of all the bad things you've done recently.
Do you work at Subway? Cause you just gave me a footlong.
History always has a way of repeating itself, bad or good, a perfect circle.
Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon.
You can't shake hands with a clenched fist.
If she talks to you about everyone then she must talk to everyone about you.
Live everyday like it's your last because someday you will be right.
It's not the goodbye that hurts, but the flashbacks that follow.
Life is like a penis, when it gets hard, fuck it.
If most people said what was on their minds, they'd be speechless.
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