I'm a bitch? You're a bitch. Your mom's a bitch for having a bitch, your dad's a bitch for fucking a bitch. Now who's the bitch, bitch?
Sneaking your seatbelt on slowly when you see a cop.
Never close a door that someone still holds a key to.
A relationship with NO TRUST is like a car with no gasoline. You can stay in it all you want but it won't go anywhere.
When you're sober you think twice before you speak but when you're drunk you speak twice before you think.
Everything becomes funnier when you're not allowed to laugh.
An apple a day may keep the doctor away - but all these Macbooks are getting expensive.
If it put a smile on my face, there is no reason to regret.
Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you weaker and weaker until it eventually kills you.
I would kick your ass right now, but that would be animal abuse.
The awkward moment when you're about to hug somebody sexy and then headbutt the mirror....
Everyone and everything eventually becomes only just a memory.
I knew I was in love when all those stupid love songs started to make sense.
I bet Osama Bin Laden regrets coming out of hiding to watch the Royal Wedding.
Sex burns 25.7 calories per minute, with that being said, wanna work out?
Life is not measured by the amount of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
Don't let the world change your smile, let your smile change the world.
Men are like parking lots; all the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.
I couldn't help but notice that awesome ends with 'me' and ugly starts with 'u'.
© 2014 EpicQuotes |