I'm a bitch? You're a bitch. Your mom's a bitch for having a bitch, your dad's a bitch for fucking a bitch. Now who's the bitch, bitch?
Whatever floats your boat as long, as it doesn't sink mine.
Boyfriends are like goal keepers. Just because they are there doesn't mean you can't score.
It is true that there is no "I" in team. But there is an "I" in win.
I hate when I'm tired and sleepy, but when I go to bed my body says "Just kidding."
The awkward moment when somebody asks you what's wrong and they're the problem.
There are needs and there are wants. I need what I want.
Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I most need it.
Life is like a penis, when it gets hard, fuck it.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
I want a person who comes into my life by accident, but stays on purpose.
If you're lucky enough to be different, never change.
I put the laughter in manslaughter.
Don't make me mad then tell me to calm down. Thats like stabbing someone then wondering why they're bleeding.
I'm tired of girls complaining that theres no good guys left...hello..we are where you left us, IN THE FRIEND ZONE.
Everyone keeps telling me how fun Angry Birds is, but I've been insulting my parakeet all week and he just seems hurt.
Aspire to inspire before you expire.
That sad moment when you find an old conversation between you and someone you don't talk to anymore.
Live everyday like it's your last because someday you will be right.
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