I'm a bitch? You're a bitch. Your mom's a bitch for having a bitch, your dad's a bitch for fucking a bitch. Now who's the bitch, bitch?
I'm not single. I'm in a long-standing relationship with fun and freedom.
Love needs to get glasses.
If you can't be a good example then at least be a horrible warning.
Cool story bro. Yeah your mums in the next chapter.
Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I most need it.
If you can't change your circumstances, change the way you respond to them.
Life is a case of spoon or be spooned.
Every woman is beautiful, it just takes the right man to see it.
Have you ever noticed that when you walk into a spider web you suddenly become a ninja?
Sleep, hugs, kisses, love, friends, family, memories, smiles, laughter, fun... the best things in life are free.
When a teacher sends you outside you have successfully won the argument.
If it put a smile on my face, there is no reason to regret.
It's better to be the owner of your silence than the slave of your words.
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
When someone says "It's getting hot in here" I automatically think, "So take off all your clothes".
Definition of disappointment: guy runs into a wall with a boner and breaks his nose first...
That sad moment when you find an old conversation between you and someone you don't talk to anymore.
When your mum decides to be in the room while you're on the computer so you just switch to Google and just stare at it.
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