I'm a bitch? You're a bitch. Your mom's a bitch for having a bitch, your dad's a bitch for fucking a bitch. Now who's the bitch, bitch?
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
Cool story bro, tell it again and I'll punch you.
I don't have enough middle fingers to show you how I feel.
You never realize how offensive your music is until your parents are sitting in the passenger seat.
It's not how much you love someone that matters, it's how much you make them feel loved.
The world is a fucked up place. You fit right in.
The world is full of guys, be a man.
When your best friend comes to you with a bitch problem and you're like"I don't give a fuck."
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
He broke her heart. She broke his X-Box. I think we all know who cried harder.
Dear 'K', You should get arrested for killing conversations.
Thanks wind, you totally raped my hair.
I want to go to Heaven for the climate, and Hell for the company.
I hate when I'm tired and sleepy, but when I go to bed my body says "Just kidding."
The word 'studying' was made up of two words originally - 'students dying'.
My foot just fell asleep. I think I'm gonna kick it with your face to wake it up.
I'm a very nice person...but for you I'll make an exception.
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