I'm a bitch? You're a bitch. Your mom's a bitch for having a bitch, your dad's a bitch for fucking a bitch. Now who's the bitch, bitch?
The sacrifice of hiding in the light is living with your shadows.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
The word of the day is 'legs'. Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
Jesus can walk on water but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Cool story bro. Wanna hear mine? It's a fairy tale; once upon a time, I don't give a shit. The end.
The last thing I want to do is die.
That sad moment when you find an old conversation between you and someone you don't talk to anymore.
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
Those who criticize our generation forget who raised it.
"Dude, that song is old." Sorry, I didn't notice the expiry date.
Chuck Norris has three types of laundry...whites, darks and blood stained.
That awkward moment when you don't die on Dec 21 and your kid asks you why he was born on Sept 21.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of bill payments.
It's hard to talk face to face, when your head is up your ass.
If someone tries to bring you down it means that you are higher than them.
The toughest thing about success is that you've got to keep on being a success.
God made Heaven and Earth, the rest was made in China.
© 2017 EpicQuotes |