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You can be worthless to someone, but priceless to another.

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You never realize how offensive your music is until your parents are sitting in the passenger seat.

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When you're sober you think twice before you speak but when you're drunk you speak twice before you think.

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2013: The year when the movie 2012 will be moved from the action section, to comedy section.

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Its the scars that can't be seen that take the longest to heal.

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I'm not spoiled, I'm just well taken care of.

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Imagine how different your life would be if you said literally everything that was on your mind.

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Cool story bro. The best part is when you stopped talking.

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When I'm always in my room; parents complain. When I go out; parents complain.

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Everybody spread positivity.

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You can hold on to a person but not a relationship.

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Aspire to inspire before you expire.

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When staring someone in the eyes, u wait for them to stare back at you.

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He who laughs last didn't get it.

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Finding the meaning to life gives life no meaning.

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24 hours in a day 24 beers in a case coincidence? I think not.

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Kim Jong Il's last words. "Hey, you're Chuck Nor....."

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If you aren't good at lying, you better be good at keeping secrets.

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I want to go to Heaven for the climate, and Hell for the company.