You can pay for school, but you can't buy class.
There's no such thing as good girls gone bad, only bad girls found out.
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to, unless you're in prison.
I hate when I'm tired and sleepy, but when I go to bed my body says "Just kidding."
If your not going to win the argument, lie.
If you were a transformer you would be a hot-obot called Optimus Fine.
I've just moved you to the top of my 'to do' list.
The awkward moment when wikipedia has copied your homework.
A soulmate is meeting the piece of you that is missing. It's undeniable and scary, but you feel lost without it.
Mephobia. The fear of becoming so awesome that everyone dies.
You can spend your life avoiding your dreams, but everynight you go to sleep.
I should've known it wasn't going to work out between my ex-wife and me. After all, I'm a Libra and she's a bitch.
Life is so much funnier when you have a dirty mind.
When life blows sometimes the best thing you can be is a dick.
I study for minutes and take breaks for hours.
Every day you will meet a moron; if you haven't met one today, tomorrow you'll meet two.
"Dude, that song is old." Sorry, I didn't notice the expiry date.
That awkward moment when your in class then your stomach decides to make this dying whale's voice.
Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cause I can see myself in your pants.
