Why is a school zone 20mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...
Women don't want to hear what you think, women want to hear what they think, in a deeper voice.
My life without you would be like a broken pencil. Pointless.
Don't make me mad then tell me to calm down. Thats like stabbing someone then wondering why they're bleeding.
Right things happen at the wrong time if you wait for them to happen.
Chuck Norris made orange juice concentrate.
I don't have enough middle fingers to show you how I feel.
We just have to accept the fact that some people are going to stay in our hearts....even if they don't stay in our lives.
I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.
You know it's going to be a great story when its starts off with, "So this b*tch!..."
Never lie to someone who trusts you. Never trust someone who lies to you.
If I got a nickel every time I told my wife I loved her....I'd have a nickel.
Cool story bro. Needs more dragons.
I know I just met you last week but I kinda, sorta, just maybe, seriously have been curiously thinking about you every day since.
If we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket...I'd miss u heaps and think of you often.
.sdrawkcab siht daer uoy edam I
The word 'studying' was made up of two words originally - 'students dying'.
You'll never know how strong you are, until being strong is the only choice you have.
I have finally decided to give a crap. Now who wants the first piece?
