Why is a school zone 20mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
I'm your favorite hello and your hardest goodbye.
Would you like a table? ... "No, I came to the restaurant to eat on the ground, a carpet for 5 please." -_-
Playing comes first, you can work later.
24 hours in a day 24 beers in a case coincidence? I think not.
My brain: 5% names, 3% phone numbers, 2% stuff I should know for school, 90% song lyrics.
I'm not prejudiced, I hate everybody equally.
You need over 60 muscles to look angry and less then 10 to smile, so why tire yourself?
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a problem with my attitude, and that's not my problem.
Love me always, love me never, but don't love me sometimes.
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
You can spend your life avoiding your dreams, but everynight you go to sleep.
I'm experiencing Deja Vu and Amnesia at the same time... I think I've forgotten this before...
It's not how much you love someone that matters, it's how much you make them feel loved.
To catch me, you gotta be fast. To find me, you gotta be smart. To be me? Sh*t! You gotta be kidding!
Me: *sneeze* Class: *silence*. Popular girl: *sneeze* Class: God bless you amazing and lovely sweetheart.
It takes more energy to look back than to look forward into the future.
You can't shake hands with a clenched fist.
