Why is a school zone 20mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...
Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.
So you're the bitch that told the bitch that I'm a bitch well listen bitch it takes a bitch to know a bitch, bitch.
Everyone thinks that: Its every girl's dream to find the perfect guy....in fact its every girl's dream to eat without getting fat.
I'm not stupid, I'm just not thinking straight right now.
Life sucks. But what it sucks on we may never know.
Maturity is knowing when to be immature.
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
God must love stupid people. He made SO many.
I order the club sandwich all the time, but I'm not even a member, man. I don't know how I get away with it.
I've gone bankrupt a few times and it's pretty scary. But eventually I make it to the ATM and get more money.
Truth can stand on its own, only lies require faith.
Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.
A soulmate is meeting the piece of you that is missing. It's undeniable and scary, but you feel lost without it.
Relationship status: Thank god there are 2 TVs in this house.
If we only attempt that which we are capable of doing, we will never grow.
When your best friend comes to you with a bitch problem and you're like"I don't give a fuck."
I will love you until the end. If you feel that I don't love you, this is just the beginning.
Right things happen at the wrong time if you wait for them to happen.
