Why is a school zone 20mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...
My middle finger gets a boner when I think of you.
How much coke did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.
Every woman is beautiful, it just takes the right man to see it.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot.
People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.
When life blows sometimes the best thing you can be is a dick.
If I got a nickel every time I told my wife I loved her....I'd have a nickel.
Cool story bro. Needs more dragons.
I hate people who are lazy. They're so lazy, they don't even finish their own
"**** ***** is now friends with ****** ****** and 64 other people" damn....what a Facebook whore.
Believe in yourself. If you don't, then no one else will have a reason to.
Why drink and drive when you can smoke and fly.
Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.
I miss you like an idiot misses the point.
Boys will break your heart, Real men will pick up the pieces.
2011: Cool story, bro. 1836: Interesting tale, my fine companion.
Know one cares how much you know, unless they know how much you care.
