If you're good at something, don't do it for free.
How much coke did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.
Everything will be alright in the end, if its not alright, its not the end.
I need a six month holiday, twice a year.
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
I love that whenever we speak I have no idea what to say or how to feel.
I would kick your ass right now, but that would be animal abuse.
If you want to look young and thin, hang out around fat old people.
Until a man finds something to die for, he has nothing to live for.
Cool story bro, now go make me a sandwich.
My ideal mate is someone like you, but with a different personality and with a different face.
Life is not what you take of it, but what you make of it.
When life blows sometimes the best thing you can be is a dick.
You cannot fathom the amount of fuck I do not give.
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
I hate when I'm on the couch after a long day, I put the TV on and then my family starts having a competition of who can be the loudest.
I've gone bankrupt a few times and it's pretty scary. But eventually I make it to the ATM and get more money.
If you were a transformer you would be a hot-obot called Optimus Fine.
Don't let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game.
