If you're good at something, don't do it for free.
Life is a case of spoon or be spooned.
Wild hearts can't be broken.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
How the hell does Freddy Kruger wipe his ass?
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
You're never too old to learn something stupid.
I'm not stupid, I'm just not thinking straight right now.
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to, unless you're in prison.
That awkward moment when sluts wear clothes.
The ultimate price you pay is nothing but time.
Stubbing your toe and telling the inanimate object to f*ck off.
You are not a winner, just the last loser standing.
Life is like a penis. It's short, but seems so long when it gets hard
Admit it! At one point in your life you closed the fridge really slowly to see when the light turns off.
If someone tries to bring you down it means that you are higher than them.
Your actions are speaking so loudly, I cannot hear what you are saying.
If you can't beat them, taze them.
Negativity is poison for the soul.
