New anti depressant for lesbians... Trycoxagain
The sacrifice of hiding in the light is living with your shadows.
Chuck Norris once strangled someone with a cordless phone.
Charlie Sheen just set record for 'fastest time to reach a million Twitter followers.' Not his only speed record.
Would you like a table? ... "No, I came to the restaurant to eat on the ground, a carpet for 5 please." -_-
Laughing is when a smile has an orgasm.
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
I don't make the same mistake twice....I make it 5 or 6 times just to make sure.
Life is a case of spoon or be spooned.
Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
I am not good at giving advice, but can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
Trust in God but lock your car.
I hate when I'm tired and sleepy, but when I go to bed my body says "Just kidding."
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
Fight poverty. Throw stones at beggers.
You don't like my opinion, wait until you hear the ones I keep to myself.
Live everyday like it's your last because someday you will be right.
