New anti depressant for lesbians... Trycoxagain
You are the result of 4 billion years of evolutionary success. Fucking act like it.
That awkward moment when your pet is staring at you naked...
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
Fairy tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.
Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.
I don't hate school. I just hate the teachers, the homework, the exams and waking up early in the morning.
I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you.
Winners don't wait for chances, they grab them.
Never lie to someone who trusts you. Never trust someone who lies to you.
Every day you will meet a moron; if you haven't met one today, tomorrow you'll meet two.
Its much easier to apologize then it is to get permission.
I couldn't help but notice that awesome ends with 'me' and ugly starts with 'u'.
Jesus can walk on water but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
Annoying moment: When you decide to be angry at someone for a week and the next morning, the anger you felt so strong, disappears.
I will love you until the end. If you feel that I don't love you, this is just the beginning.
Don't break anybody's heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206.
