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There's no such thing as good girls gone bad, only bad girls found out.

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Take it easy, give it hard.

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I'm not a nerd, I'm just smarter then you.

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My ideal mate is someone like you, but with a different personality and with a different face.

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Cool story bro, now go make me a sandwich.

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I bet Osama Bin Laden regrets coming out of hiding to watch the Royal Wedding.

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True friends aren't bought, they are earned.

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Laughing at the person because the joke was a fail.

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You inspire me to be a better pervert.

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The awkward moment when teacher cracks a joke and no one laughs.

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Don't like me? Take a seat with the rest of the bitches waiting for me to give a fuck

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The awkward moment when you're eavesdropping on a strangers conversation and accidentally laugh out loud at a funny part.

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I study for minutes and take breaks for hours.

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I don't have an attitude problem. You have a problem with my attitude, and that's not my problem.

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Women want one man to fulfill their every need. Men want every woman to fulfill their one need.

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Wherever you go, there you are.

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Procrastination is like masturbation....you're only screwing yourself.

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Boyfriends are like goal keepers. Just because they are there doesn't mean you can't score.

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There's no such thing as good girls gone bad, only bad girls found out.