There's no such thing as good girls gone bad, only bad girls found out.
A man can sweep any woman off her feet, he just needs the right broom.
Women want one man to fulfill their every need. Men want every woman to fulfill their one need.
The awkward moment when teacher cracks a joke and no one laughs.
The more pictures you post of your pet the more lonely you are. It's science.
Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I most need it.
If life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, then lets get wasted and have the time of our lives.
I swear Mario is a hobo! he wakes up wearing the same clothes, runs in sewers, and steals coins. To buy what. MUSHROOMS?
We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
Yeah, I'm single, but you're gonna have to be amazing to change that.
You know you love her when people think you're crazy.
If you were my homework I'd do you on the table.
Off; the general direction in which I wish you would fuck.
Cool story bro. You should get it in Oprah's book club.
It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.
If you can't change your circumstances, change the way you respond to them.
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 52 people. Then the grenade exploded.
I am not afraid of death, it's just that I prefer not to be there when it happens.
I need a six month holiday, twice a year.
