There's no such thing as good girls gone bad, only bad girls found out.
If karma doesn't knock you out soon, I will.
You have ONE advantage over me, you can kiss my ass and I can't.
Boobs. That's all, just like this if you like boobs.
Women want one man to fulfill their every need. Men want every woman to fulfill their one need.
Would you like a table? ... "No, I came to the restaurant to eat on the ground, a carpet for 5 please." -_-
I'm thinking of a finger, and it's not 1, 2, 4, or 5.
Depression is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of being too strong for too long.
Sitting in the cinema, ready to watch the movie, then BOOM! The human giraffe sits in front of you.
I couldn't help but notice that awesome ends with 'me' and ugly starts with 'u'.
I've gone bankrupt a few times and it's pretty scary. But eventually I make it to the ATM and get more money.
Baby, I treat you like my homework, I'll slam you on the table and do you all night long.
Patience gets you everywhere on time.
You inspire me to be a better pervert.
Unicorns are awesome. I am awesome. Therefore, I am a unicorn.
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
I'm not an alchoholic, I'm a drunk. Alchoholics go to meetings.
I love that whenever we speak I have no idea what to say or how to feel.
