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There's no such thing as good girls gone bad, only bad girls found out.

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I bet Osama Bin Laden regrets coming out of hiding to watch the Royal Wedding.

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If you aren't good at lying, you better be good at keeping secrets.

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Admit it! At one point in your life you closed the fridge really slowly to see when the light turns off.

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If being sexy were against the law you'd be guilty as charged.

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Teacher: "DO YOU WANT TO SPEND LUNCH IN MY CLASS?!" Me: Are you asking me out? O_O

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Physiological fact: emotional pain lasts for twelve minutes, anything else is self inflicted.

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Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

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Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 52 people. Then the grenade exploded.

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Forget it enough to get over it, remember it enough so it doesnt happen again.

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Regret lasts longer than fear.

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Today was a beautiful day. Then you showed up.

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Treat every problem as your dog would: If you can't eat it, fuck it or piss on it, then walk away.

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The last thing I want to do is die.

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The people who know the least about you, always have the most to say.

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If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

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Imagine how different your life would be if you said literally everything that was on your mind.

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Your actions are speaking so loudly, I cannot hear what you are saying.

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Pickles are just cucumbers soaked in evil.