There's no such thing as good girls gone bad, only bad girls found out.
What's the most successful pickup line ever? A: 'Does this smell like chloroform?'
Sleep, hugs, kisses, love, friends, family, memories, smiles, laughter, fun... the best things in life are free.
Don't like me? Take a seat with the rest of the bitches waiting for me to give a fuck
Do you work at Subway? Cause you just gave me a footlong.
Your a boy, I'm a girl. So tell me again why we aren't dating?
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
I'm tired of girls complaining that theres no good guys left...hello..we are where you left us, IN THE FRIEND ZONE.
Teacher: Why can I hear talking? Student: Because you have ears.
A good friend buys you lunch. A true friend eats yours.
I say excuse me when I burp even when nobody is around....true gentleman.
That sad moment when you find an old conversation between you and someone you don't talk to anymore.
It's weird not to be weird.
Until a man finds something to die for, he has nothing to live for.
Never close a door that someone still holds a key to.
That awkward moment when you walk through the metal detectors at the airport, and your abs of steel set them off.
Its much easier to apologize then it is to get permission.
It's not how much you love someone that matters, it's how much you make them feel loved.
I'm killing time, waiting for time to kill me.
