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There's no such thing as good girls gone bad, only bad girls found out.

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If she talks to you about everyone then she must talk to everyone about you.

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Sitting in the cinema, ready to watch the movie, then BOOM! The human giraffe sits in front of you.

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I couldn't help but notice that awesome ends with 'me' and ugly starts with 'u'.

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I didn't lose my sanity. I sent it away for its own protection.

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It takes more energy to look back than to look forward into the future.

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Sneaking your seatbelt on slowly when you see a cop.

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I swear Mario is a hobo! he wakes up wearing the same clothes, runs in sewers, and steals coins. To buy what. MUSHROOMS?

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Make money, don't let it make you.

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From a girl's point of view, the guy always chooses the slut. From a boy's point of view, the girl always chooses the jerk.

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I want to go to Heaven for the climate, and Hell for the company.

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Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

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If we're not supposed to have late night snacks....why is there a light in the fridge?

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Jesus can walk on water. Ice is 100% water, I can walk on ice. Therefore, I'M 100% JESUS BITCHES.

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Laughter is a better way to bring tears to the eyes.

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Regret lasts longer than fear.

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Letting go doesn't mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be.

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You can spend your life avoiding your dreams, but everynight you go to sleep.

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You don't have to understand to be understanding.