24 hours in a day 24 beers in a case coincidence? I think not.
I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.
Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
Definition of disappointment: guy runs into a wall with a boner and breaks his nose first...
If most people said what was on their minds, they'd be speechless.
The awkward moment when you politely decline food at a friends house and immediately regret the decision afterwards.
I'm tired of girls complaining that theres no good guys left...hello..we are where you left us, IN THE FRIEND ZONE.
I'm not lazy, I'm just highly motivated not to do anything.
That awkward moment when sluts wear clothes.
Some take the bait, others reel it in.
Kim Jong Il's last words. "Hey, you're Chuck Nor....."
Teacher: "DO YOU WANT TO SPEND LUNCH IN MY CLASS?!" Me: Are you asking me out? O_O
You can't buy love....but you pay heavily for it.
I love using big words to sound smart. I mean utilizing gargantuan idioms to fabricate intelligence.
You never how much is enough until you know how much is too much.
Everyone is gifted, but some people never open their package.
Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.
Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
The human heart is like a spring, to bounce back from pitfalls and rise to joys, and it definitely needs space.
