24 hours in a day 24 beers in a case coincidence? I think not.
I love using big words to sound smart. I mean utilizing gargantuan idioms to fabricate intelligence.
A girl looks at what a man drives. A woman looks at what drives a man.
Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
I think therefore I am, we think therefore it is.
Always remember to smile.
Cool story bro. Publish it and sell it to someone who gives a shit.
I order the club sandwich all the time, but I'm not even a member, man. I don't know how I get away with it.
Science has made us gods even before we are worthy of being men.
Pickles are just cucumbers soaked in evil.
Got an issue? Get a tissue.
Laughter is a better way to bring tears to the eyes.
Kiss me if I'm wrong, but is your name Susan?
I didn't lose my sanity. I sent it away for its own protection.
We're all born screaming, naked, and starving...then it's pretty much downhill from there.
The awkward moment when someones yelling at you and your desperately trying not to laugh at their angry face.
That awkward moment when you don't die on Dec 21 and your kid asks you why he was born on Sept 21.
I hate when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she's not your friend anymore.
The word of the day is 'legs'. Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
