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24 hours in a day 24 beers in a case coincidence? I think not.

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If she talks to you about everyone then she must talk to everyone about you.

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Once upon a time, there was a boy and girl who loved each other. Then a slut came and ruined everything. The end.

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Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.

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Testing boys by not responding to their txts to see if they'll txt you again.

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Charlie Sheen just set record for 'fastest time to reach a million Twitter followers.' Not his only speed record.

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Definition of disappointment: guy runs into a wall with a boner and breaks his nose first...

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Why don't you just swallow all that makeup you put on? You might become pretty on the inside.

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Shit happens bro. Now get over it.

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Know one cares how much you know, unless they know how much you care.

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Hello substitute teacher... Goodbye assigned seats.

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My brain: 5% names, 3% phone numbers, 2% stuff I should know for school, 90% song lyrics.

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Don't make time for people who can't make time for you.

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Life is to SHORT, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly.

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Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

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If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

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Those who like me, raise your hand. Those who don't, raise your standards.

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I don't have enough middle fingers to show you how I feel.

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Don't like me? Take a seat with the rest of the bitches waiting for me to give a fuck