24 hours in a day 24 beers in a case coincidence? I think not.
If karma doesn't knock you out soon, I will.
If you find yourself using the expression "haters gonna hate" a lot, there's a better than average chance you're a douchebag.
I always wanted to be someone. I see now that I should have been more specific.
Life is so much funnier when you have a dirty mind.
Shit happens bro. Now get over it.
God must love stupid people. He made SO many.
The awkward moment when you're about to hug somebody sexy and then headbutt the mirror....
Wild hearts can't be broken.
I will stop loving you when the mute guy tells the deaf guy that the blind guy saw a legless man walk on water, yeah that means never.
Cool story bro. Wanna hear mine? It's a fairy tale; once upon a time, I don't give a shit. The end.
Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cause I can see myself in your pants.
Not everyone's gonna understand you and that's ok.
I will love you until the end. If you feel that I don't love you, this is just the beginning.
Nice guys finish last, that is because they put their girls first.
The world is a fucked up place. You fit right in.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Would you like a table? ... "No, I came to the restaurant to eat on the ground, a carpet for 5 please." -_-
Be positive for no reason.
