24 hours in a day 24 beers in a case coincidence? I think not.
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I wanted a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
Everybody is a student for life.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
When your best friend comes to you with a bitch problem and you're like"I don't give a fuck."
You said what you said and you said what you said, so what you said is what you said.
Playing comes first, you can work later.
The world is full of guys, be a man.
So you're the bitch that told the bitch that I'm a bitch well listen bitch it takes a bitch to know a bitch, bitch.
Wherever you go, there you are.
Girls are like aspirin. I take two and go to bed.
Here's a condom so that you can have protection while you go fuck yourself. :)
I'm so broke I can't even pay attention.
My life without you would be like a broken pencil. Pointless.
Shit happens bro. Now get over it.
Be positive for no reason.
The awkward moment when people are complaining about the sizes of their nose when Voldemort's in the room.
