24 hours in a day 24 beers in a case coincidence? I think not.
Face your problems, don't facebook them.
Have you ever noticed that when you walk into a spider web you suddenly become a ninja?
If we're not supposed to have late night snacks....why is there a light in the fridge?
The awkward moment when you realize that people are really laughing at you, not with you.
An apple a day may keep the doctor away - but all these Macbooks are getting expensive.
Homework: Do me do me. Internet: Don't listen to that slut.
If your not going to win the argument, lie.
I'm killing time, waiting for time to kill me.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
I don't have enough middle fingers to show you how I feel.
If life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, then lets get wasted and have the time of our lives.
Sleep, hugs, kisses, love, friends, family, memories, smiles, laughter, fun... the best things in life are free.
If someone tries to bring you down it means that you are higher than them.
Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cause I can see myself in your pants.
I hate when I'm tired and sleepy, but when I go to bed my body says "Just kidding."
Dear Boyfriend, Your wallet was getting fat so I thought I'd take it out for some exercise. Sincerely, your Girlfriend.
I tried to send you the most sexy thing on the planet, but the mail man told me to get out of the mailbox.
Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words.
