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Dear 'K', You should get arrested for killing conversations.

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Learn to spell, kids. Auto Correct isn't always write.

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To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

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Jingle bells, Twilight smells, Edward ran away, Bella died, Jacob cried, POTTER ALL THE WAY!!

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If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

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Winners do what other people won't.

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The toughest thing about success is that you've got to keep on being a success.

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After Mondays and Tuesdays even the calender says WTF.

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When someone says "It's getting hot in here" I automatically think, "So take off all your clothes".

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That awkward moment when it's not okay after an apology.

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A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

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If all MEN are the same, why do WOMEN take so long to choose one?

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Whenever I use "Thus" in a essay, I feel like motherfucking Shakespeare.

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Mario: An Italian plumber that was created by Japanese people, who speaks English, but looks like a Mexican.

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You got enemies, good that means you stood up for something.

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I love using big words to sound smart. I mean utilizing gargantuan idioms to fabricate intelligence.

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A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist.

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Everything becomes funnier when you're not allowed to laugh.

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Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.