Life is like a penis. It's short, but seems so long when it gets hard
You can't shake hands with a clenched fist.
Forget it enough to get over it, remember it enough so it doesnt happen again.
If you can't be a good example then at least be a horrible warning.
Life is like a penis, when it gets hard, fuck it.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
Right things happen at the wrong time if you wait for them to happen.
If your not going to win the argument, lie.
Sex burns 25.7 calories per minute, with that being said, wanna work out?
I need a six month holiday, twice a year.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
When staring someone in the eyes, u wait for them to stare back at you.
If you text me first, it's your job to keep the conversation going!
A soulmate is meeting the piece of you that is missing. It's undeniable and scary, but you feel lost without it.
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places
Laughing at the person because the joke was a fail.
The notion that you feel my pain is extremely uncertain. You have to apply the experience and pain of my life in order to come to this road.
Take my advice, don't listen to my advice.
