Life is like a penis. It's short, but seems so long when it gets hard
S_CCESS can't be complete without U.
You are not a winner, just the last loser standing.
Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.
The ultimate price you pay is nothing but time.
That awkward moment when you walk through the metal detectors at the airport, and your abs of steel set them off.
If being sexy were against the law you'd be guilty as charged.
Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.
I eat problems, then shit out success.
I need a six month holiday, twice a year.
Pickles are just cucumbers soaked in evil.
Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I most need it.
You can't define love, but love can define you.
We put the "us" in trust, baby.
Cool story bro. Wanna hear mine? It's a fairy tale; once upon a time, I don't give a shit. The end.
NO MUM. You're mad because you're wrong not because I was talking back.
The awkward moment when you're about to hug somebody sexy and then headbutt the mirror....
Sitting in the cinema, ready to watch the movie, then BOOM! The human giraffe sits in front of you.
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
