If all MEN are the same, why do WOMEN take so long to choose one?
Don't trip over bitches, walk over them.
It isn't till you've lost everything that you are free to do anything.
When someone says "It's getting hot in here" I automatically think, "So take off all your clothes".
I have no time for stupid people. But they sure do have time for me.
Fairy tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.
When a teacher sends you outside you have successfully won the argument.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Homework: Do me do me. Internet: Don't listen to that slut.
I'm your favorite hello and your hardest goodbye.
I want a person who comes into my life by accident, but stays on purpose.
Whenever I use "Thus" in a essay, I feel like motherfucking Shakespeare.
Cool story bro, now go make me a sandwich.
What you call dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
Those who like me, raise your hand. Those who don't, raise your standards.
Everyone and everything eventually becomes only just a memory.
We put the "us" in trust, baby.
Those awkward karate chops you give door just incase it shocks you.
Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
