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"**** ***** is now friends with ****** ****** and 64 other people" damn....what a Facebook whore.

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Learn to spell, kids. Auto Correct isn't always write.

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The awkward moment when teacher cracks a joke and no one laughs.

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Some women can't find a GOOD MAN cause they're too busy looking for a PERFECT MAN.

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True friends aren't bought, they are earned.

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Love is just a word, until someone comes along and gives it meaning.

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I go to bed late every night and I realize it was bad idea every morning.

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You need over 60 muscles to look angry and less then 10 to smile, so why tire yourself?

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If karma doesn't knock you out soon, I will.

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Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?

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I went up to my moms face and screamed " I WANT FOOD !!! " Until I got slapped in the face

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Behind every girls favorite song, is an untold story.

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New anti depressant for lesbians... Trycoxagain

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Cool story bro. Wanna hear mine? It's a fairy tale; once upon a time, I don't give a shit. The end.

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Chuck Norris once strangled someone with a cordless phone.

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You should appreciate what you have, before it becomes what you had.

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When single you see happy couples. When in a relationship you see happy singles.

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It's hard to answer "what's wrong", when nothing is right...

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Mephobia. The fear of becoming so awesome that everyone dies.