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"**** ***** is now friends with ****** ****** and 64 other people" damn....what a Facebook whore.

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Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

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Cool story bro. You should get it in Oprah's book club.

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I want a person who comes into my life by accident, but stays on purpose.

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Sometimes giving someone a second chance is like giving them a second bullet for their gun because they missed the first time.

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When we hit our lowest point, We are open to the greatest changes.

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If they dont chase you when you walk away....keep walking.

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Definition of disappointment: guy runs into a wall with a boner and breaks his nose first...

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Don't punish the man in front of you for the mistakes made by the man behind you.

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Fall in love with my mind.

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Right things happen at the wrong time if you wait for them to happen.

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You do not learn anything by doing everything right.

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We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.

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When all fails, kamikaze and take everyone with you.

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If being sexy were against the law you'd be guilty as charged.

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Learn to spell, kids. Auto Correct isn't always write.

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Everyone is gifted, but some people never open their package.

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Brushing your teeth before breakfast, is the same as wiping your ass before taking a shit.

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Girls are like aspirin. I take two and go to bed.