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"**** ***** is now friends with ****** ****** and 64 other people" damn....what a Facebook whore.

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We put the "us" in trust, baby.

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Life's not a bitch, you're the bitch because your not trying hard enough.

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Never count on tomorrow because it may forget to show up.

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Take my advice, don't listen to my advice.

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Off; the general direction in which I wish you would fuck.

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Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.

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Science has made us gods even before we are worthy of being men.

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If we only attempt that which we are capable of doing, we will never grow.

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Stubbing your toe and telling the inanimate object to f*ck off.

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I'm your favorite hello and your hardest goodbye.

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Treat every problem as your dog would: If you can't eat it, fuck it or piss on it, then walk away.

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I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you.

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Cool story bro. The best part is when you stopped talking.

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Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

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Bought a CD of ice cream van music. Now I drive with the stereo on full blast, watching the disappointment on all the little kids faces.

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Short answers silent treatment not smiling = You did something wrong.

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Single doesn't always mean lonely and Relationship doesn't always mean happy.

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Life is to SHORT, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly.