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"**** ***** is now friends with ****** ****** and 64 other people" damn....what a Facebook whore.

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To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

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Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.

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They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.

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If you ever get caught sleeping on the job... slowly raise your head and say, 'In Jesus name, amen'

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Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.

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Girls are like aspirin. I take two and go to bed.

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Sometimes giving someone a second chance is like giving them a second bullet for their gun because they missed the first time.

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Not everyone's gonna understand you and that's ok.

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Don't wait for the perfect moment, take the moment and make it perfect.

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In my dreams you're mine, in my life you're a dream.

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The awkward moment when somebody asks you what's wrong and they're the problem.

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You should appreciate what you have, before it becomes what you had.

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I will love you until the end. If you feel that I don't love you, this is just the beginning.

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Fall in love with my mind.

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If I'm weird with you, I'm comfortable with you.

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Single doesn't always mean lonely and Relationship doesn't always mean happy.

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A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

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Don't waste electricity, would you like it if I turned you on and walked away?