I know I just met you last week but I kinda, sorta, just maybe, seriously have been curiously thinking about you every day since.
That awkward moment when you don't die on Dec 21 and your kid asks you why he was born on Sept 21.
I don't fail, I succeed in finding what does not work.
It's hard to talk face to face, when your head is up your ass.
I don't know what's worse. Guys who refer to girls as b*tches, or the girls who actually respond to it.
We are bestfriends. Always remember that when you fall, I'll pick you up. After I finish laughing.
I would love you if love meant the complete opposite of what it means today.
I have moments of brilliance and hours of stupidity.
The awkward moment when someone is yelling at you and you're desperately trying not to laugh at their angry face.
Eventually people will realize that mistakes are meant for learning not repeating.
I'm not a nerd, I'm just smarter then you.
I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.
Cool story bro. You should get it in Oprah's book club.
Ohh, that sounds kinda harsh. I better add a 'lol'.
Its much easier to apologize then it is to get permission.
Life sucks. But what it sucks on we may never know.
You can hold on to a person but not a relationship.
When your best friend comes to you with a bitch problem and you're like"I don't give a fuck."
Men are like parking lots; all the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.
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