I know I just met you last week but I kinda, sorta, just maybe, seriously have been curiously thinking about you every day since.
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
Treat every problem as your dog would: If you can't eat it, fuck it or piss on it, then walk away.
I think 'First Response' and 'Plan B' should switch names.
You're only as good as your last game.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words.
Compromising is the same as losing, it just sucks more because winning was never in the deal.
The awkward moment when someones yelling at you and your desperately trying not to laugh at their angry face.
You know you love her when people think you're crazy.
God made Heaven and Earth, the rest was made in China.
I miss you like an idiot misses the point.
That awkward moment when you don't die on Dec 21 and your kid asks you why he was born on Sept 21.
The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
Two things I hate the most: (1) The new lover of an EX (2) The EX of a new lover.
I'm not addicted to Twitter. I only tweet when I have time: lunch time, break time, off time, this time, that time, any time, all the time.
I don't hate school. I just hate the teachers, the homework, the exams and waking up early in the morning.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
Life is not what you take of it, but what you make of it.
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