I know I just met you last week but I kinda, sorta, just maybe, seriously have been curiously thinking about you every day since.
If you can't beat them, taze them.
Why don't you just swallow all that makeup you put on? You might become pretty on the inside.
The minute you settle for less than what you deserve you get less than what you settled for.
My life without you would be like a broken pencil. Pointless.
Mephobia. The fear of becoming so awesome that everyone dies.
Life is like a penis. It's short, but seems so long when it gets hard
That awkward moment when your in class then your stomach decides to make this dying whale's voice.
I would love you if love meant the complete opposite of what it means today.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Until a man finds something to die for, he has nothing to live for.
New anti depressant for lesbians... Trycoxagain
You should never ruin an apology with an excuse.
Laughing at the person because the joke was a fail.
Don't make time for people who can't make time for you.
I went up to my moms face and screamed " I WANT FOOD !!! " Until I got slapped in the face
Nice guys finish last, that is because they put their girls first.
I'm not getting drunk. I'm getting awesome.
If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.
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