I know I just met you last week but I kinda, sorta, just maybe, seriously have been curiously thinking about you every day since.
When your best friend comes to you with a bitch problem and you're like"I don't give a fuck."
Hello substitute teacher... Goodbye assigned seats.
"Dude, that song is old." Sorry, I didn't notice the expiry date.
11.24265336624% of people pay too much attention to details.
Haters make you famous.
I'm not spoiled, I'm just well taken care of.
It's not the goodbye that hurts, but the flashbacks that follow.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
Don't wait for the perfect moment, take the moment and make it perfect.
The awkward moment when the world doesn't end on December 21st 2012, and a lot of girls end up being pregnant.
I'm a bitch? You're a bitch. Your mom's a bitch for having a bitch, your dad's a bitch for fucking a bitch. Now who's the bitch, bitch?
I love you more than a fat kid loves cake.
Laughing is when a smile has an orgasm.
Teacher: "You failed the test." - Student:"You failed to educate."
You never how much is enough until you know how much is too much.
I want to go to Heaven for the climate, and Hell for the company.
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
The people who know the least about you, always have the most to say.
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