I know I just met you last week but I kinda, sorta, just maybe, seriously have been curiously thinking about you every day since.
My biggest mistake is not kissing you when I had the chance.
Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I most need it.
I'm not an alcoholic, I only drink two times a year. On my birthday, and when its not my birthday.
The world needs less people that judge and more people that love.
A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts.
"Dude, that song is old." Sorry, I didn't notice the expiry date.
Jesus can walk on water but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything.
When I watch MTV Cribs, the feeling of guilt from illegally downloading songs goes away.
If you text me first, it's your job to keep the conversation going!
People are stupid, with random moments of brilliance.
The lottery: voluntary taxation.
Depression is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of being too strong for too long.
When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
Those who criticize our generation forget who raised it.
Whenever I use "Thus" in a essay, I feel like motherfucking Shakespeare.
Men are like parking lots; all the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.