I know I just met you last week but I kinda, sorta, just maybe, seriously have been curiously thinking about you every day since.
Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon.
.sdrawkcab siht daer uoy edam I
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
You're never too old to learn something stupid.
Teacher: "You failed the test." - Student:"You failed to educate."
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Regret lasts longer than fear.
The toughest thing about success is that you've got to keep on being a success.
Just because your smart doesn't mean your wise.
I have finally decided to give a crap. Now who wants the first piece?
Cool story bro. The best part is when you stopped talking.
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery but today is a gift. That is why they call it the present.
Why is a school zone 20mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...
Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
Mephobia. The fear of becoming so awesome that everyone dies.
When all fails, kamikaze and take everyone with you.
My wife says that I don't listen to her, or something like that.
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
