I know I just met you last week but I kinda, sorta, just maybe, seriously have been curiously thinking about you every day since.
Truth can stand on its own, only lies require faith.
Most people are still alive because its illegal to shoot them.
I am not afraid of death, it's just that I prefer not to be there when it happens.
Dear Bull, What did I do to deserve so much shit?
Pickles are just cucumbers soaked in evil.
You'll never know how strong you are, until being strong is the only choice you have.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot.
Laughing at the person because the joke was a fail.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
Relationship status: Thank god there are 2 TVs in this house.
Don't break anybody's heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206.
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
Never lie to someone who trusts you. Never trust someone who lies to you.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Taking forever to pick up a phone call because you're dancing to your ring tone.
Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
Love is just a word, until someone comes along and gives it meaning.
So my life has reached the point where I've stopped asking "Why me!?" and started asking "Oh, again?"
