I know I just met you last week but I kinda, sorta, just maybe, seriously have been curiously thinking about you every day since.
If you aren't good at lying, you better be good at keeping secrets.
Cool story bro. Wanna hear mine? It's a fairy tale; once upon a time, I don't give a shit. The end.
I told my ex I felt like killing her, and she said I needed professional help, So I hired a hitman.
I need a six month holiday, twice a year.
People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.
That awkward moment when your pet is staring at you naked...
In my dreams you're mine, in my life you're a dream.
S_CCESS can't be complete without U.
Right things happen at the wrong time if you wait for them to happen.
When we hit our lowest point, We are open to the greatest changes.
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
It's not the goodbye that hurts, but the flashbacks that follow.
Jingle bells, Twilight smells, Edward ran away, Bella died, Jacob cried, POTTER ALL THE WAY!!
The awkward moment when you politely decline food at a friends house and immediately regret the decision afterwards.
I swear Mario is a hobo! he wakes up wearing the same clothes, runs in sewers, and steals coins. To buy what. MUSHROOMS?
If life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, then lets get wasted and have the time of our lives.
I have no time for stupid people. But they sure do have time for me.
Pickles are just cucumbers soaked in evil.
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