I know I just met you last week but I kinda, sorta, just maybe, seriously have been curiously thinking about you every day since.
Winners do what other people won't.
To whom much is expected, much should be suspected.
It's not the goodbye that hurts, but the flashbacks that follow.
I think 'First Response' and 'Plan B' should switch names.
The human heart is like a spring, to bounce back from pitfalls and rise to joys, and it definitely needs space.
Face your problems, don't facebook them.
Life is like a penis, when it gets hard, fuck it.
I'm not an alchoholic, I'm a drunk. Alchoholics go to meetings.
I'm a bitch? You're a bitch. Your mom's a bitch for having a bitch, your dad's a bitch for fucking a bitch. Now who's the bitch, bitch?
Testing boys by not responding to their txts to see if they'll txt you again.
If I got a nickel every time I told my wife I loved her....I'd have a nickel.
I think therefore I am, we think therefore it is.
Stubbing your toe and telling the inanimate object to f*ck off.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
Chuck Norris has three types of laundry...whites, darks and blood stained.
Life's not a bitch, you're the bitch because your not trying hard enough.
I'm thinking of a finger, and it's not 1, 2, 4, or 5.
Dear 'K', You should get arrested for killing conversations.
