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I know I just met you last week but I kinda, sorta, just maybe, seriously have been curiously thinking about you every day since.

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11.24265336624% of people pay too much attention to details.

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Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to, unless you're in prison.

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I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

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Life is to SHORT, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly.

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There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

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I'm experiencing Deja Vu and Amnesia at the same time... I think I've forgotten this before...

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I would love you if love meant the complete opposite of what it means today.

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Cool story bro, changed my life.

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Hurting someone with the truth is better than killing them with a lie.

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You can't shake hands with a clenched fist.

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If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

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I couldn't help but notice that awesome ends with 'me' and ugly starts with 'u'.

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Be man enough to accept the consequences, be child enough to do it anyway.

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I always take life with a grain of salt, ...plus a slice of lemon, ...and a shot of tequila.

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When I watch MTV Cribs, the feeling of guilt from illegally downloading songs goes away.

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It's hard to talk face to face, when your head is up your ass.

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You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

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A good friend buys you lunch. A true friend eats yours.