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I know I just met you last week but I kinda, sorta, just maybe, seriously have been curiously thinking about you every day since.

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Gravity is not the reason why people fall in love.

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Teacher: Why can I hear talking? Student: Because you have ears.

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I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.

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Once upon a time, there was a boy and girl who loved each other. Then a slut came and ruined everything. The end.

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When I'm always in my room; parents complain. When I go out; parents complain.

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Did you just slap my ass? NO!? Damn I was hoping you did.

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If karma doesn't knock you out soon, I will.

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You cannot fathom the amount of fuck I do not give.

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Cool story bro. Yeah your mums in the next chapter.

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The world is a fucked up place. You fit right in.

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Its much easier to apologize then it is to get permission.

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My middle finger gets a boner when I think of you.

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I'm not an alcoholic, I only drink two times a year. On my birthday, and when its not my birthday.

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Chuck Norris will never die of a heart attack because his heart isn't that foolish to attack him.

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I've just moved you to the top of my 'to do' list.

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I love you more than a fat kid loves cake.

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Life is to SHORT, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly.

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I study for minutes and take breaks for hours.