I know I just met you last week but I kinda, sorta, just maybe, seriously have been curiously thinking about you every day since.
I'm sorry you had bad luck and turned out to be an idiot.
Some women can't find a GOOD MAN cause they're too busy looking for a PERFECT MAN.
I know I have friends and I know I have enemies. I just can't tell who is who.
A good friend buys you lunch. A true friend eats yours.
Its the scars that can't be seen that take the longest to heal.
Take chances, make mistakes, and don't regret a second of life.
I'm killing time, waiting for time to kill me.
Man: created by God, destroyed by a women.
The toughest thing about success is that you've got to keep on being a success.
Every day you will meet a moron; if you haven't met one today, tomorrow you'll meet two.
Winners do what other people won't.
Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.
Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you weaker and weaker until it eventually kills you.
My foot just fell asleep. I think I'm gonna kick it with your face to wake it up.
Sadly some boys think of girls as books; If the cover doesn't catch their eye they don't bother to read whats inside.
It's hard to talk face to face, when your head is up your ass.
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
Those awkward karate chops you give door just incase it shocks you.
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