I know I just met you last week but I kinda, sorta, just maybe, seriously have been curiously thinking about you every day since.
We always start with completing the difficult. It just takes us a little longer to do the impossible.
2011: Cool story, bro. 1836: Interesting tale, my fine companion.
I'm not flirting, I'm just acting extra nice to someone who is extra attractive.
Relationship status: Thank god there are 2 TVs in this house.
Life is not measured by the amount of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
You are the result of 4 billion years of evolutionary success. Fucking act like it.
A man can sweep any woman off her feet, he just needs the right broom.
Stubbing your toe and telling the inanimate object to f*ck off.
I say excuse me when I burp even when nobody is around....true gentleman.
I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
Sneaking your seatbelt on slowly when you see a cop.
I couldn't help but notice that awesome ends with 'me' and ugly starts with 'u'.
The world needs less people that judge and more people that love.
Who you are, who you want to be, and who you once were can be three different people.
Trust in God but lock your car.
Ladies, the only time it is okay to be skeleton skinny is when you are dead. So eat the frigging cookie and enjoy it.
Kim Jong Il's last words. "Hey, you're Chuck Nor....."