I know I just met you last week but I kinda, sorta, just maybe, seriously have been curiously thinking about you every day since.
I'm not getting drunk. I'm getting awesome.
How the hell does Freddy Kruger wipe his ass?
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
No really officer, I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
Chuck Norris will never die of a heart attack because his heart isn't that foolish to attack him.
You should appreciate what you have, before it becomes what you had.
Me: *sneeze* Class: *silence*. Popular girl: *sneeze* Class: God bless you amazing and lovely sweetheart.
Each morning when we wake up, we have two choices: go back to sleep and keep dreaming, or wake up and chase those dreams.
I order the club sandwich all the time, but I'm not even a member, man. I don't know how I get away with it.
Every woman is beautiful, it just takes the right man to see it.
Got an issue? Get a tissue.
Chuck Norris puts the "fun" in "Funeral".
The word 'studying' was made up of two words originally - 'students dying'.
If you were my homework I'd do you on the table.
Giving up does not always mean you're weak, sometimes it just means your strong enough to let go.
I am not afraid of death, it's just that I prefer not to be there when it happens.
You know you love her when people think you're crazy.
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