I know I just met you last week but I kinda, sorta, just maybe, seriously have been curiously thinking about you every day since.
There are needs and there are wants. I need what I want.
Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Men are like parking lots; all the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.
Rappers always talk about robbing people in their songs, thats why I download all their songs for free. Payback!
Accept what you can't change and change what you can't accept.
A man can sweep any woman off her feet, he just needs the right broom.
I'll advise you... don't mess with me: I know Karate, Judo, Tai Kwon Do, Jujitsu and 28 other dangerous words.
Shit happens bro. Now get over it.
Don't fall in love, fall off a bridge, trust me, it hurts less.
If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.
Chuck Norris once strangled someone with a cordless phone.
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
Real eyes realize real lies.
Nice guys finish last, that is because they put their girls first.
I'm not an alchoholic, I'm a drunk. Alchoholics go to meetings.
If you were my homework I'd do you on the table.
Be man enough to accept the consequences, be child enough to do it anyway.