I know I just met you last week but I kinda, sorta, just maybe, seriously have been curiously thinking about you every day since.
That awkward moment when your pet is staring at you naked...
When I watch MTV Cribs, the feeling of guilt from illegally downloading songs goes away.
Chuck Norris puts the "fun" in "Funeral".
Life is a bitch, but totally do-able.
Dear Bull, What did I do to deserve so much shit?
Perception is everything.
Your character is more accurately determined by what you say about others behind their backs.
I'm not an alcoholic, I only drink two times a year. On my birthday, and when its not my birthday.
Don't punish the man in front of you for the mistakes made by the man behind you.
Ohh, that sounds kinda harsh. I better add a 'lol'.
It's half water, and half air. So really, the glass is never half empty.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
I order the club sandwich all the time, but I'm not even a member, man. I don't know how I get away with it.
If you were a transformer you would be a hot-obot called Optimus Fine.
You'll never know how strong you are, until being strong is the only choice you have.
The people who know the least about you, always have the most to say.
Procrastination is like masturbation....you're only screwing yourself.
If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back to visit, hunt it down and kill it.
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