I know I just met you last week but I kinda, sorta, just maybe, seriously have been curiously thinking about you every day since.
Have you ever noticed that when you walk into a spider web you suddenly become a ninja?
What's the most successful pickup line ever? A: 'Does this smell like chloroform?'
I'm killing time, waiting for time to kill me.
When your mum decides to be in the room while you're on the computer so you just switch to Google and just stare at it.
Make money, don't let it make you.
A girl just told me she wants something with a lot of diamonds for her birthday, I'm gettin her a deck of cards!
If you got haters, you must be doing something right.
I'm not an alcoholic, I only drink two times a year. On my birthday, and when its not my birthday.
I want to go to Heaven for the climate, and Hell for the company.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
A relationship with NO TRUST is like a car with no gasoline. You can stay in it all you want but it won't go anywhere.
You got enemies, good that means you stood up for something.
Sex is like money. It's only a problem when you don't have any.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
Just because your smart doesn't mean your wise.
If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
A pretty girl is nothing with an ugly attitude.
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