I know I just met you last week but I kinda, sorta, just maybe, seriously have been curiously thinking about you every day since.
I love using big words to sound smart. I mean utilizing gargantuan idioms to fabricate intelligence.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
Chuck Norris once strangled someone with a cordless phone.
I love that whenever we speak I have no idea what to say or how to feel.
Don't punish the man in front of you for the mistakes made by the man behind you.
I put the laughter in manslaughter.
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
You don't need some one to complete you, you just need someone to accept you completely...
Physiological fact: emotional pain lasts for twelve minutes, anything else is self inflicted.
People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.
I'm not stupid, I'm just not thinking straight right now.
The smile is every woman's sexiest curve.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Maturity is knowing when to be immature.
Drunk words are sober thoughts.
I don't hate school. I just hate the teachers, the homework, the exams and waking up early in the morning.
Treat every problem as your dog would: If you can't eat it, fuck it or piss on it, then walk away.
I'm gonna go take a hot shower. It's like a normal shower, but with me in it.
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