KEEP YOUR HEAD HIGH, and you're middle finger HIGHER.
NO MUM. You're mad because you're wrong not because I was talking back.
The human heart is like a spring, to bounce back from pitfalls and rise to joys, and it definitely needs space.
Kiss me if I'm wrong, but is your name Susan?
The awkward moment when teacher cracks a joke and no one laughs.
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
Patience gets you everywhere on time.
Whatever floats your boat as long, as it doesn't sink mine.
It's hard to talk face to face, when your head is up your ass.
If it put a smile on my face, there is no reason to regret.
You inspire me to be a better pervert.
I miss you like an idiot misses the point.
A girl just told me she wants something with a lot of diamonds for her birthday, I'm gettin her a deck of cards!
I swear to drunk I'm not god.
Ironically, Chuck Norris' hidden talent is invisibility.
I hate people who are lazy. They're so lazy, they don't even finish their own
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Mom: What do you think I am, made of money? Daughter: Isn't that what MOM stands for?
Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
