KEEP YOUR HEAD HIGH, and you're middle finger HIGHER.
Everyone's fine with babies being entertained by keys, but let one baby drive a Porsche and suddenly I'm a horrible uncle.
If you were a transformer you would be a hot-obot called Optimus Fine.
My middle finger gets a boner when I think of you.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
You can spend your life avoiding your dreams, but everynight you go to sleep.
Cool story bro, now go make me a sandwich.
Life is to SHORT, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly.
I would love you if love meant the complete opposite of what it means today.
I hate when I'm on the couch after a long day, I put the TV on and then my family starts having a competition of who can be the loudest.
I don't watch any reality TV because I seriously can't afford to hate society any more than I already do.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
When someone says "It's getting hot in here" I automatically think, "So take off all your clothes".
You don't need some one to complete you, you just need someone to accept you completely...
When life blows sometimes the best thing you can be is a dick.
Sex burns 25.7 calories per minute, with that being said, wanna work out?
God must love stupid people. He made SO many.
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
Treat every problem as your dog would: If you can't eat it, fuck it or piss on it, then walk away.
