Drunk words are sober thoughts.
Chuck Norris will never die of a heart attack because his heart isn't that foolish to attack him.
When I'm always in my room; parents complain. When I go out; parents complain.
Those awkward karate chops you give door just incase it shocks you.
Me: *sneeze* Class: *silence*. Popular girl: *sneeze* Class: God bless you amazing and lovely sweetheart.
The world is full of guys, be a man.
I think therefore I am, we think therefore it is.
The world is a fucked up place. You fit right in.
Two things I hate the most: (1) The new lover of an EX (2) The EX of a new lover.
Married men live longer than single men, but they're a lot more willing to die.
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.
Mephobia. The fear of becoming so awesome that everyone dies.
If someone tries to bring you down it means that you are higher than them.
If there was only woman ruling the word there would be no wars. Just a bunch of countries jealous of each other.
I am not good at giving advice, but can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
My biggest mistake is not kissing you when I had the chance.
No one said it would be easy but I'm saying it's going to be worth it.
My ideal mate is someone like you, but with a different personality and with a different face.
Everyone keeps telling me how fun Angry Birds is, but I've been insulting my parakeet all week and he just seems hurt.
