Drunk words are sober thoughts.
Don't let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game.
If there was only woman ruling the word there would be no wars. Just a bunch of countries jealous of each other.
I will stop loving you when the mute guy tells the deaf guy that the blind guy saw a legless man walk on water, yeah that means never.
If Bill Gates had a penny for every time I had to reboot my computer...oh wait, he does.
Life is like a penis, when it gets hard, fuck it.
Never frown, because you never know who's falling in love with your smile.
You should never ruin an apology with an excuse.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
"Dude, that song is old." Sorry, I didn't notice the expiry date.
The awkward moment when you politely decline food at a friends house and immediately regret the decision afterwards.
You don't like my opinion, wait until you hear the ones I keep to myself.
A rumor goes in one ear, then out of many mouths.
Your a boy, I'm a girl. So tell me again why we aren't dating?
I'm not addicted to Twitter. I only tweet when I have time: lunch time, break time, off time, this time, that time, any time, all the time.
In my dreams you're mine, in my life you're a dream.
If you were a transformer you would be a hot-obot called Optimus Fine.
Every day you will meet a moron; if you haven't met one today, tomorrow you'll meet two.
A girl looks at what a man drives. A woman looks at what drives a man.
