I've gone bankrupt a few times and it's pretty scary. But eventually I make it to the ATM and get more money.
Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too, bitch.
The human heart is like a spring, to bounce back from pitfalls and rise to joys, and it definitely needs space.
I really need you to, put the camera down and step away from the mirror.
I don't have an attitude, I have a personality you can't handle.
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.
Brushing your teeth before breakfast, is the same as wiping your ass before taking a shit.
I'm not an Alcoholic. Alcoholics need a drink, I already have one.
Don't punish the man in front of you for the mistakes made by the man behind you.
I want a person who comes into my life by accident, but stays on purpose.
I eat problems, then shit out success.
The awkward moment when teacher cracks a joke and no one laughs.
I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.
Love always costs more than you can afford, but its always worth the price.
Ohh, that sounds kinda harsh. I better add a 'lol'.
So you're the bitch that told the bitch that I'm a bitch well listen bitch it takes a bitch to know a bitch, bitch.
Hello substitute teacher... Goodbye assigned seats.
Forget it enough to get over it, remember it enough so it doesnt happen again.
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I wanted a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
