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I've gone bankrupt a few times and it's pretty scary. But eventually I make it to the ATM and get more money.

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I'm not lazy, I'm just highly motivated not to do anything.

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I'm thinking of a finger, and it's not 1, 2, 4, or 5.

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Don't allow someone to be your priorty while allowing yourself to be there option.

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Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

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Don't let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game.

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I will still love you when you're no longer young and beautiful.

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A real man gives up one night stands for a woman he can't stand one night without.

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What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?'Hold my purse.'

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I always wanted to be someone. I see now that I should have been more specific.

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So my life has reached the point where I've stopped asking "Why me!?" and started asking "Oh, again?"

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I'll advise you... don't mess with me: I know Karate, Judo, Tai Kwon Do, Jujitsu and 28 other dangerous words.

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Annoying moment: When you decide to be angry at someone for a week and the next morning, the anger you felt so strong, disappears.

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My ideal mate is someone like you, but with a different personality and with a different face.

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My life without you would be like a broken pencil. Pointless.

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I have a lot of time on my hands when I'm wearing two watches.

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You are not a winner, just the last loser standing.

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2013: The year when the movie 2012 will be moved from the action section, to comedy section.

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"**** ***** is now friends with ****** ****** and 64 other people" damn....what a Facebook whore.