I've gone bankrupt a few times and it's pretty scary. But eventually I make it to the ATM and get more money.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
I know I have friends and I know I have enemies. I just can't tell who is who.
The awkward moment when teacher cracks a joke and no one laughs.
I have a lot of time on my hands when I'm wearing two watches.
Thanks wind, you totally raped my hair.
The ultimate price you pay is nothing but time.
A girl just told me she wants something with a lot of diamonds for her birthday, I'm gettin her a deck of cards!
Letting go doesn't mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be.
How ironic is life. We spend so much money on expensive clothes, but the best moments in life are spent without clothes
Face your problems, don't facebook them.
A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist.
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
Most people are still alive because its illegal to shoot them.
When life puts you in tough situations don't say "WHY ME?", just say "TRY ME".
Mario: An Italian plumber that was created by Japanese people, who speaks English, but looks like a Mexican.
Nice guys finish last, that is because they put their girls first.
That awkward moment when your pet is staring at you naked...
