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I've gone bankrupt a few times and it's pretty scary. But eventually I make it to the ATM and get more money.

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If you can't beat them, taze them.

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Life is to SHORT, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly.

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You cannot fathom the amount of fuck I do not give.

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When staring someone in the eyes, u wait for them to stare back at you.

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That awkward moment when it's not okay after an apology.

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11.24265336624% of people pay too much attention to details.

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Thanks wind, you totally raped my hair.

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A relationship with NO TRUST is like a car with no gasoline. You can stay in it all you want but it won't go anywhere.

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From a girl's point of view, the guy always chooses the slut. From a boy's point of view, the girl always chooses the jerk.

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I'm so broke I can't even pay attention.

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Compromising is the same as losing, it just sucks more because winning was never in the deal.

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Don't wait for anybody to complete you.

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Jesus can walk on water but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.

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It takes more energy to look back than to look forward into the future.

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Cool story bro, now go make me a sandwich.

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It is true that there is no "I" in team. But there is an "I" in win.

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Fear not the weapon, but the hand that wields it.

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Problems cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them.