I'm killing time, waiting for time to kill me.
Never frown, because you never know who's falling in love with your smile.
The more pictures you post of your pet the more lonely you are. It's science.
The awkward moment when you're about to hug somebody sexy and then headbutt the mirror....
That moment when your mum shouts your name so you do a quick recap of all the things you've done recently to see if you're in trouble.
The lottery: voluntary taxation.
2013: The year when the movie 2012 will be moved from the action section, to comedy section.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
If I'm weird with you, I'm comfortable with you.
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
I've just moved you to the top of my 'to do' list.
I hate when I'm on the couch after a long day, I put the TV on and then my family starts having a competition of who can be the loudest.
Cry over cuts and stitches not bastards and bitches.
A good friend buys you lunch. A true friend eats yours.
The awkward moment when you realize that people are really laughing at you, not with you.
My brain: 5% names, 3% phone numbers, 2% stuff I should know for school, 90% song lyrics.
Dear 'K', You should get arrested for killing conversations.
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to, unless you're in prison.
Its much easier to apologize then it is to get permission.
