I'm killing time, waiting for time to kill me.
Never close a door that someone still holds a key to.
I'm not lazy, I'm just highly motivated not to do anything.
Its much easier to apologize then it is to get permission.
Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words.
Believe in yourself. If you don't, then no one else will have a reason to.
If I got a nickel every time I told my wife I loved her....I'd have a nickel.
Today I went on thesaurus.com and searched "ninjas". The computer told me "Ninjas cannot be found". Well played, ninjas, well played.
Cool story bro. Put it in the history books with all the other boring sh*t I don't care about.
I know the beginning and end of this book but what shapes life are the chapters between.
To catch me, you gotta be fast. To find me, you gotta be smart. To be me? Sh*t! You gotta be kidding!
I'm a bitch? You're a bitch. Your mom's a bitch for having a bitch, your dad's a bitch for fucking a bitch. Now who's the bitch, bitch?
How ironic is life. We spend so much money on expensive clothes, but the best moments in life are spent without clothes
When someone says "It's getting hot in here" I automatically think, "So take off all your clothes".
You should appreciate what you have, before it becomes what you had.
I bet Osama Bin Laden regrets coming out of hiding to watch the Royal Wedding.
Don't break anybody's heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206.
Fall in love with my mind.
You inspire me to be a better pervert.
