I'm killing time, waiting for time to kill me.
NO MUM. You're mad because you're wrong not because I was talking back.
If your not going to win the argument, lie.
Chuck Norris has three types of laundry...whites, darks and blood stained.
The more pictures you post of your pet the more lonely you are. It's science.
Nice guys finish last, that is because they put their girls first.
I know I have friends and I know I have enemies. I just can't tell who is who.
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
Its much easier to apologize then it is to get permission.
That awkward moment when it's not okay after an apology.
I'll advise you... don't mess with me: I know Karate, Judo, Tai Kwon Do, Jujitsu and 28 other dangerous words.
Pickles are just cucumbers soaked in evil.
I'm not lazy, I'm just highly motivated not to do anything.
The ultimate price you pay is nothing but time.
Believe in yourself. If you don't, then no one else will have a reason to.
I hate people who are lazy. They're so lazy, they don't even finish their own
It takes more energy to look back than to look forward into the future.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
He broke her heart. She broke his X-Box. I think we all know who cried harder.
