I'm killing time, waiting for time to kill me.
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
That moment when your mum shouts your name so you do a quick recap of all the things you've done recently to see if you're in trouble.
I know the beginning and end of this book but what shapes life are the chapters between.
Cool story bro, tell it again and I'll punch you.
When life puts you in tough situations don't say "WHY ME?", just say "TRY ME".
I love using big words to sound smart. I mean utilizing gargantuan idioms to fabricate intelligence.
Good things don't always have to come to an end.
Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words.
The notion that you feel my pain is extremely uncertain. You have to apply the experience and pain of my life in order to come to this road.
If you can't beat them, taze them.
I go to bed late every night and I realize it was bad idea every morning.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
I miss you like an idiot misses the point.
Maturity is knowing when to be immature.
The awkward moment when somebody asks you what's wrong and they're the problem.
Homework: Do me do me. Internet: Don't listen to that slut.
If I got a nickel every time I told my wife I loved her....I'd have a nickel.
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
