You can spend your life avoiding your dreams, but everynight you go to sleep.
Some take the bait, others reel it in.
To catch me, you gotta be fast. To find me, you gotta be smart. To be me? Sh*t! You gotta be kidding!
I bet Osama Bin Laden regrets coming out of hiding to watch the Royal Wedding.
I can only endure saying goodbye because saying hello again will be all the sweeter.
I don't have enough middle fingers to show you how I feel.
My wife says that I don't listen to her, or something like that.
It sucks that you can't photoshop that personality too, bitch.
Dear Bull, What did I do to deserve so much shit?
Laughter is a better way to bring tears to the eyes.
I'm not giving you an hour, or a second, or another minute longer. I'm busy getting stronger.
Love always costs more than you can afford, but its always worth the price.
When single you see happy couples. When in a relationship you see happy singles.
I'm not lazy, I'm just highly motivated not to do anything.
Don't waste electricity, would you like it if I turned you on and walked away?
Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
I'm not an alcoholic, I only drink two times a year. On my birthday, and when its not my birthday.
Teacher: Why can I hear talking? Student: Because you have ears.
