You can spend your life avoiding your dreams, but everynight you go to sleep.
He who laughs last didn't get it.
Have you ever noticed that when you walk into a spider web you suddenly become a ninja?
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
How much coke did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.
There are two kinds of secrets: one is not worth keeping and the other is too good to keep.
Pickles are just cucumbers soaked in evil.
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
An apple a day may keep the doctor away - but all these Macbooks are getting expensive.
We put the "us" in trust, baby.
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
Patience gets you everywhere on time.
Love is calling back regardless of how many times they hangup on you.
Cool story bro, changed my life.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
Trust in God but lock your car.
Cool story bro. Wanna hear mine? It's a fairy tale; once upon a time, I don't give a shit. The end.
I really need you to, put the camera down and step away from the mirror.
Some people can't sleep because they have insomnia. I can't sleep because I have Internet connection.