You can spend your life avoiding your dreams, but everynight you go to sleep.
When all fails, kamikaze and take everyone with you.
I don't fail, I succeed in finding what does not work.
Bombing for peace is like fucking for virginity.
Auto-correct can kiss my ask.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
I told my ex I felt like killing her, and she said I needed professional help, So I hired a hitman.
God made Heaven and Earth, the rest was made in China.
If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back to visit, hunt it down and kill it.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
Tip to reduce weight: Turn your head to the left then turn to the right. Repeat this exercise every time you are offered something to eat.
Cool story bro. Yeah your mums in the next chapter.
Off; the general direction in which I wish you would fuck.
True friends stab you in the front!
Would you like a table? ... "No, I came to the restaurant to eat on the ground, a carpet for 5 please." -_-
I don't watch any reality TV because I seriously can't afford to hate society any more than I already do.
If your life is so shitty maybe you should wipe your ass better.
The lottery: voluntary taxation.
Boyfriends are like goal keepers. Just because they are there doesn't mean you can't score.
