I'm thinking of a finger, and it's not 1, 2, 4, or 5.
If you watch Jaws backwards, its about a shark who throws up so many people, they have to open a beach.
Mephobia. The fear of becoming so awesome that everyone dies.
Fight poverty. Throw stones at beggers.
Hello substitute teacher... Goodbye assigned seats.
Don't hate me because I'm better than you, hate yourself because you're not as good as me.
My ideal mate is someone like you, but with a different personality and with a different face.
Would you like a table? ... "No, I came to the restaurant to eat on the ground, a carpet for 5 please." -_-
If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?'Hold my purse.'
Cool story bro. Yeah your mums in the next chapter.
The awkward moment when you politely decline food at a friends house and immediately regret the decision afterwards.
Its the scars that can't be seen that take the longest to heal.
I don't know what's worse. Guys who refer to girls as b*tches, or the girls who actually respond to it.
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
I study for minutes and take breaks for hours.
When I'm bored, I eat. When I'm happy, I eat. When I'm sad, I eat.
Life is to SHORT, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly.
