I'm thinking of a finger, and it's not 1, 2, 4, or 5.
Alarm Clocks, because every morning should begin with a heart attack.
Never count on tomorrow because it may forget to show up.
Teacher: "DO YOU WANT TO SPEND LUNCH IN MY CLASS?!" Me: Are you asking me out? O_O
If they dont chase you when you walk away....keep walking.
Cool story bro. Yeah your mums in the next chapter.
Chuck Norris once strangled someone with a cordless phone.
Smart girls open their mind, easy girls open their legs, and foolish girls open their heart.
Dreams lift when reality falls.
Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
When life puts you in tough situations don't say "WHY ME?", just say "TRY ME".
Not everyone's gonna understand you and that's ok.
I'm not prejudiced, I hate everybody equally.
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?'Hold my purse.'
Cool story bro. In what chapter do you shut the fuck up in?
How ironic is life. We spend so much money on expensive clothes, but the best moments in life are spent without clothes
Drunk words are sober thoughts.
You never realize how offensive your music is until your parents are sitting in the passenger seat.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
