I'm thinking of a finger, and it's not 1, 2, 4, or 5.
Kiss me if I'm wrong, but is your name Susan?
Your actions are speaking so loudly, I cannot hear what you are saying.
Whenever I use "Thus" in a essay, I feel like motherfucking Shakespeare.
I really need you to, put the camera down and step away from the mirror.
If we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket...I'd miss u heaps and think of you often.
Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I most need it.
If all MEN are the same, why do WOMEN take so long to choose one?
I'm not an alchoholic, I'm a drunk. Alchoholics go to meetings.
I am not good at giving advice, but can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
Not everyone's gonna understand you and that's ok.
I don't make the same mistake twice....I make it 5 or 6 times just to make sure.
I'm sorry you had bad luck and turned out to be an idiot.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory
Maturity is knowing when to be immature.
Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
We just have to accept the fact that some people are going to stay in our hearts....even if they don't stay in our lives.
When I'm bored, I eat. When I'm happy, I eat. When I'm sad, I eat.
I hate when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she's not your friend anymore.
