Girls are like aspirin. I take two and go to bed.
I'm killing time, waiting for time to kill me.
An apple a day may keep the doctor away - but all these Macbooks are getting expensive.
I don't watch any reality TV because I seriously can't afford to hate society any more than I already do.
My foot just fell asleep. I think I'm gonna kick it with your face to wake it up.
When all fails, kamikaze and take everyone with you.
You can't define love, but love can define you.
I'm so broke I can't even pay attention.
To catch me, you gotta be fast. To find me, you gotta be smart. To be me? Sh*t! You gotta be kidding!
Men are like parking lots; all the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a problem with my attitude, and that's not my problem.
Life's not a bitch, you're the bitch because your not trying hard enough.
My biggest mistake is not kissing you when I had the chance.
Love always costs more than you can afford, but its always worth the price.
You can hold on to a person but not a relationship.
Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon.
When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.
If I'm weird with you, I'm comfortable with you.
If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back to visit, hunt it down and kill it.
