I miss you like an idiot misses the point.
Love is calling back regardless of how many times they hangup on you.
Short answers silent treatment not smiling = You did something wrong.
Cool story bro, changed my life.
Auto-correct can kiss my ask.
Brushing your teeth before breakfast, is the same as wiping your ass before taking a shit.
I should've known it wasn't going to work out between my ex-wife and me. After all, I'm a Libra and she's a bitch.
Boyfriends are like goal keepers. Just because they are there doesn't mean you can't score.
If someone tries to bring you down it means that you are higher than them.
Cool story bro. Needs more dragons.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Hurting someone with the truth is better than killing them with a lie.
I didn't fall, I just caught the floor.
Your a boy, I'm a girl. So tell me again why we aren't dating?
I've gone bankrupt a few times and it's pretty scary. But eventually I make it to the ATM and get more money.
Love needs to get glasses.
Life is like a penis, when it gets hard, fuck it.
I eat problems, then shit out success.
Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.
