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If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back to visit, hunt it down and kill it.

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Boys will break your heart, Real men will pick up the pieces.

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Never count on tomorrow because it may forget to show up.

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Take my advice, don't listen to my advice.

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There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

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The awkward moment when Edward and Santa bump into each other in your room because they're both watching you sleep.

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I couldn't help but notice that awesome ends with 'me' and ugly starts with 'u'.

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I know they say the first love is the sweetest, but that first cut is the deepest.

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If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back to visit, hunt it down and kill it.

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Why don't you just swallow all that makeup you put on? You might become pretty on the inside.

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If you were my homework I'd do you on the table.

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Cool story bro. Yeah your mums in the next chapter.

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Today I went on thesaurus.com and searched "ninjas". The computer told me "Ninjas cannot be found". Well played, ninjas, well played.

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If you were a transformer you would be a hot-obot called Optimus Fine.

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Don't waste electricity, would you like it if I turned you on and walked away?

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How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

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Some people can't sleep because they have insomnia. I can't sleep because I have Internet connection.

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When single you see happy couples. When in a relationship you see happy singles.

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Mephobia. The fear of becoming so awesome that everyone dies.