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If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back to visit, hunt it down and kill it.

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If you're good at something, don't do it for free.

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God made Heaven and Earth, the rest was made in China.

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Next time someone says "sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me" I'm gonna throw the dictionary at them.

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A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

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Giving up does not always mean you're weak, sometimes it just means your strong enough to let go.

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When all fails, kamikaze and take everyone with you.

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Who you are, who you want to be, and who you once were can be three different people.

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You never know how precious it is until you lose it. And you never know how annoying it is until you have it.

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We are bestfriends. Always remember that when you fall, I'll pick you up. After I finish laughing.

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The last thing I want to do is die.

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I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.

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Everybody thinks that a girl's dream is to find the perfect guy. Yeah right, our dream is to EAT WITHOUT GETTING FAT!

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Jesus can walk on water. Ice is 100% water, I can walk on ice. Therefore, I'M 100% JESUS BITCHES.

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A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist.

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Don't tell me the rules if you can't even play the game.

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Chuck Norris once strangled someone with a cordless phone.

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If you can't change your circumstances, change the way you respond to them.

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.